a first

[BillyLiar]

Forward

“My melody.”
Whether high or low,
each short note, holds the same time.
Looping, alluding to something new.

Blanket of cherished memories;
imaginary comfort.
Hiding.
Embraced then strangled;
paralyzed.
The same beautiful sound
now torture.

A distant sound remembering adventure.
Begging
I will sing a new song!
It will be beautiful!
it will be,
“My melody.”

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hello everybody and thankyou for reading :). This is my first real attempt at writing poetry, so any criticism/advice would be greatly appreciated... THANKS :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

What I like best about this is your clean, spare lines.

[JWHooper]

High or low sounds, you would kiss the book of poems, and just post Shakespearean philosophy.

[Buh4Bee]

Good start, keep going!

[BillyLiar]

What I like best about this is your clean, spare lines.

ouch... haha thank you for your honest PrinceMyshkin and JWHooper. and thanks for the words of encouragement jersea.

[blazeofglory]

You have the ingredients to cook up ideas of a poem.