Ohmyscience
07-27-2009, 02:47 AM
The door was right in front of me. In the event that I was not able find my keys within a minute or so, my body temperature would follow a descent coupled with the degradation of tissue. One has to be concerned with their health otherwise more pitiful creatures take hold. The frigid weather was the main concern but towards this hour who knows what degenerate creatures, with their thickened skin, will do to me knowing I have warmth waiting for me. There it was. Always in the pocket you search last. Without prejudice every key quickly auditioned for the door. The third key formed a perfect union. It was a false alarm. Some keys fit quite well but the knob is what must be conquered. After a few more keys, the door forfeited. I opened the door and made my way in. As I suspected one of the legions of degenerate creatures slipped in. There it was strolling down the main corridor with the amble of a welcomed guest. On its four legs it paced towards the living room. ‘What diseases could this cat carry? Move along’, I commanded. I gestured with opened palms sweeping the creature towards the door. The cat was reluctant and instead made its way into the living room despite my objection. This was an ill omen or perhaps not. In an effort to dissuade the forces at work wishing me ill, I offered my hospitality. ‘Sit down’, I insisted and it hoped onto a futon. ‘What an intelligent creature’, I thought. ‘What brings you here?’, I asked. ‘I sensed a warm comfortable home here’, the cat replied. ‘True. But why mine? Why not my neighbor’s?’ ‘Well creatures of my type are shrewd enough to discern the more generous hosts.’ ‘What a pathetic attempt at flattery’, I rebuked. ‘Can I put you to any use? Maybe get rid of vermin’, I asked. The cat replied ‘You do not have any. You haven’t let any in.’ ‘Is that so. Well I better let you out seeing as you serve no use and have mocked my attempts at keeping creatures like yourself out of my home.’ ‘Not so fast’, the cat objected. ‘You’re clearly ill composed and would be best if you refrained from such hasty decisions.’ ‘How so?’, I asked. ‘You’re talking to a cat. Need I further elaborate?’ ‘You understand me and I understand you therefore why not speak rather than resort to physical gestures?’, I replied. ‘That does not change the fact that I am a cat.’ ‘I have had enough of you. I will be leaving and returning shortly and when I do I hope to find my home empty.’ I grabbed my coat and made my way onto the streets. At this hour degenerate creatures must be reveling at the sight of unguarded trespassers. I walked around the block a few times and quickly made my way back. ‘Where did I have my keys?’