Hell

[amuse]

his bottle - where is it - my phone -
where is it?
my heart -
why can't it
slow down
so i can
breathe

my eyes are in the
next room,
he is laughing
because
we are going
outside.

there is nothing
there
i run up
stairs
confused
perhaps
i'm in shock

who
would do something
so
stupid as that

he laughs and laughs
as i hold him
tighter

and i turn off
the fan
we go
back
out

the marbled
stoop
is cool,
and nothing looks
wrong
but i can't stop
shaking-

holding him
tightly
but not so
that he
knows i'm terrified.

for the only
light shines
from his eyes
(and oh, the sun),
so perhaps i should
be calm

??maybe i will
be again
one day but
right now the smell

of burning
wood
is the only
only command
i know.

[PrinceMyshkin]

There is something about these well-managed short lines that so effectively underlines the terror of this experience. I wish I had better inferred the relationship between the persona and the others mentioned.

[amuse]

Thank you, PrinceMyshkin.

I babysit a lovely little 7-month old...maybe I should have added something to clarify at the end, like how I can't imagine how I'd have felt if I'd been his mom; I've never experienced something so horrific before and he's not even mine.

[qimissung]

No, I like it just as it is. You have captured well the horror of being a mother.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thank you, PrinceMyshkin.

I babysit a lovely little 7-month old...maybe I should have added something to clarify at the end, like how I can't imagine how I'd have felt if I'd been his mom; I've never experienced something so horrific before and he's not even mine.

God bless that 7-month old and all 6- 8- 9-months olds, and God (or whomever) has already blessed you by placing that child in the safety of your arms and within easy reach of your loving heart!

And note that since qimmisung understood it as it stands, rather than changing the poem you might look for a way to change me from having been and still being a loving father, to a loving mother.

[Pendragon]

Having had three kids of my own, I can totally relate to these little frightmares!

[firefangled]

I loved this the way it is. I had a slight misunderstanding as well. until you explained it was one child, I had the idea it was more.

In the end it is a testament to the way one child can seem like more than two arms can hold and one mind can anticipate.

Mine are grown and there is still some of that going on. :lol: