Death & Elegance

[Dark Muse]

Death & Elegance

Moth
floating
gracefully
on still waters
dead

[breathtest]

This poem has, so far, not gotten the attention it deserves. It paints a brilliant little picture that conveys everything that the title suggests it would.

[Dark Muse]

Why thank you

[JuniperWoolf]

I really do like this a lot. It reminds me of Rimbaud's Ophelia.

[paperleaves]

How incredible...five linese made me feel so many things...so many things.
So many places, so many images, so many words

you are truly a master of the language.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you

[symphony]

Your recent contribution to the form poetry contest and this together shows you can spin it well, very very well. You can handle both intricacy and delicacy and you make sure the words are in good hands. :thumbs_up

[firefangled]

Death & Elegance

Moth
floating
gracefully
on still waters
dead

Wow! Both sad and beautiful.

[~Sophia~]

sigh... such a reverent moment! Beautiful.

[qimissung]

Yes, Dark Muse, you capture that purely beautiful moment in that inimitable way the Japanese had...pearlescent, quiet, hallowed, memorable.

[Buh4Bee]

love the "elegant" simplicity!

[Virgil]

It's nice, but perhaps I'm going to be the fly in the soup here, but it's doesn't have any depth. I'm mean it's just too short. Perhaps I'm wrong. It is nice but it could be more. ;)

[Dark Muse]

Well it is written in the Japanese style known as Lanturne which is a 5 line poem that follows a syllabic pattern of 1,2,3,4,1

[Virgil]

Well it is written in the Japanese style known as Lanturne which is a 5 line poem that follows a syllabic pattern of 1,2,3,4,1

Oh thanks for pointing that out. I hadn't realized that. It is pretty. I guess my complaint then should be directed at the form, not the individual poem. Very nice. :)