am i insane?

[breathtest]

Couldn't sleep last night, too many random thoughts going round my head. I wrote this very quickly it was really just whatever came out. Sorry if it is a bit random and raw, but that's what it was like in my head.....

Awake in bed, alone
well past midnite, too many thoughts
Have i given up on the
unconscious? I'm too alive to
decide this
Can i do justice to a killer?
Sex and death are art? I hope so,
that's all i can think about,
tangled in my twisted
sheets. What's another word for
releasing, emotionally releasing, can't
remember, too busy trying to
maintain a sleeping mind, meditative,
too bad, i can't concentrate on
nothing
Tip of the tongue, that f******
word
I am whoever i want to be
but i can't even decide that,
useless p**** just keep on writing
and see what happens what happens
What happens? What's wrong with
me? am i insane, can i not hold
together this thin raft
Schizophrenia, depression, suicide
roulette of the mind
No such thing as justice, when will
i be free?
These questions are not rhetorical
somebody needs to answer them
There's no such thing as an
unanswered question, that would
be like a non-existence
non-existence is non-existant
You're a hypocrite everybody is
My brain is going to explode
let me gush let me gush let me
gush I need this so much
but i don't remember the word
for it. oh oh oh moronic
isolation leave me alone
i can't stand your incessant
talking and your demands
Dear God are you there? Are you
real? Dead? Non-existant?
Ha got you again hypocrite
Dreams about old crushes,
what a lame description of this desire
I burn to death in my bed
Do you know that? Do you understand
my demands? I should not need this catharsis



comments are welcome.....

[PrinceMyshkin]

Very hard to know what to say about this. Something aesthetical? Mental health advice? Fighting insomnia is perhaps insomnia's best defense, but how to just give in?

Myself, I reluctantly use a slow-release sleeping pill against the recurrent wakings up I used to experience. One bit of practical advice I got from my doctor: After no more than ten minutes of trying to get back to sleep, get up, leave the bedroom and occupy yourself with something else until you feel sleepy again.

Also, a brisk walk 1/2 hour after dinner.

[Buh4Bee]

Was the f****** word catharsis?

I always think it is good to write a rant in the form of a poem. You feel better afterward.

:yawnb:

[MSDGreen]

Do the insane question their sanity?

[breathtest]

Yes Jersea it was catharsis, i am glad that somebody understood that part. I actually really could not think of the word until the last sentence of this poem.

And thanks Prince for the advice.

[Buh4Bee]

Ha, Ha! LOL! The only reason I got that Breathtest was b/c I have experienced insane moments like that myself. Blocked word retrieval for a poet/writer/thinker can be an insane experience. Maybe it was the moment and not you!

Hope you slept better the last few days!