rhyminggoat
06-25-2009, 10:27 AM
Crits are welcome. Thanks for reading.
Old Ned had a secret.
He carried it on his back.
To the ordinary folk
It looked like a sack
In Ned’s sack
He kept them alive
forever suffering
their souls inside
If you ever hear
” got a story for ya mate”
run like hell
your souls at stake
The black asphalt road began to cool as it normally would and the sun began to set in the distance. The desert sand began to turn dark gray and the sky black. All was quiet and normal for an Arizona night. The main highway was about 2 miles away. On an off-road next to a large tree and some rocks were four campers, Marley, Tom, Evan, and Mary. They sat by the camp fire roasting marshmallows and began telling jokes and scary stories. Laughter and chatter erupted from the camp site; everybody seemed to be having a good time.
An old man was walking toward the campers coming from the road. He could hear their chatter and laughter. He wore brown leather hat, boots and a long trench coat. As he walked the ground beneath his feet froze, grass and weeds on the side of the road died and withered. A bat that was flying overhead died instantly and fell to the ground. The old man’s skin was pale and eyes were a light colored blue, almost gray, and his hair was long and white which could be seen under his hat. On his back he carried an strange looking leather sack. On close inspection this sack glowed green from the inside, and screams of a thousand suffering souls could be heard.
One of the female campers, Marley saw the old man from the corner of her eye. She turned her head towards him and smiled. It was clear that she had been drinking.
“Hello there mister” Marley said as she waved at the old man approaching the campfire.
The rest of the campers stopped talking and singing immediately and turned to the old man.
“Well hello there young ens.” He responded. “My name is Ned. I have been walking for many miles and was wondering if you folks could spare and old man such as me a glass of water.”
“Of course” said Tom, the young man sitting next to Marley. “We have plenty of water to spare.”
Tom then poured Ned some water from his canteen that was lying on the ground into a plastic cup that was handed to him by Evan.
“Here ya go” Tom said as handing Ned the cup of water.
“Thanks a bunch.”
“Have a seat.” Mary spoke as she dusted off a stump that was next to the fire. She then sat back down and leaned up against Evan and grabbed his hand making it obvious they were a couple.
“For giving me this glass of water I would like to pay you back by telling you young folks a story, but first I don’t think you told me your names.”
Marley spoke up. “Of course how rude of us. My name is Marley. This is my husband Tom.” She then held Toms hand. “And these are our good friends Mary and Evan.”
“Well nice to meet ya” Ned had a horse voice. “Would you like to hear the story?”
“Of course.” Evan suggested. “We love stories.”
“Well then I’ll get right to it, but it’s a scary one so be prepared.” Ned grinned and laughed in an evil way.
The rest of the campers burst out in laughter. Ned then got a serious look on his face and leaned towards the fire. The others quieted down and leaned in as well giving Ned their full attention. He then spoke.
“There was once a preacher who lived by the good book. He was a good lad did everything right. Never stole, never lied, never did anything wrong. He had the most beautiful wife, and he loved her very much. They had eight children. One day while out to get groceries his wife was killed in a car wreck by a drunk driver. The preacher became very depressed and angry over the loss of his wife. People say he went mad. He locked the family in the house, and would not let them leave. He began taking the good book very seriously and began living by its rules word for word. The preacher one day took up a shotgun and killed the driver that was responsible for his wife’s death. When the police showed up at his house to arrest him the preacher was waiting for them on his porch. That day he gunned down 12 police officers before they were able to kill him. Legend has that after the preacher was shot dozens of times he walked back into his house, and the body was never found. He was filled with such hatred and anger he could not be killed by conventional means. After that anybody that entered the house was never to be found. Their souls were sucked into the walls.”
The campers were engrossed in Ned’s story. Their eyes became affixed onto his eyes. It as if they had come under some sort of trance or spell. Their faces were expressionless. Ned reached over his shoulder and placed the leather sack in front of him on the ground. He began to untie the string that kept it closed. He then peered back into the campers eyes.
“Now just as they were sucked into the house. Yur souls will get into my sack.”
Ned opened the sack and the green light lit up the sky, and you could hear the screams from the souls trapped inside. Mary was the first to go. She tried to fight and look away, but a large black arm reached out from the sack and pulled her soul forcefully from her body. Her body fell limp to the ground. Evan had less of a will barely got out a scream before he was pulled in. Tom on the other hand almost broke from Ned’s trance but Ned stood up and extended his hands towards Tom and said. “Nice try boy, but I’m too strong for you.” Tom realized his efforts were futile as he was being pulled into the sack. He came to the realization that if he could not save himself he would save Marley. He reached out with his arm and slapped Marley on the shoulder. This worked. Marley broke the trance like she had just woken up from a horrible nightmare. She screamed as Tom lay at her feet dead. Before Ned could get a grip on her she ran as hard and as fast as she could. Ned would not give chase. He was worn out from all the soul pulling he had just done. For now he would have to retreat back into the darkness from which he came.
“I got my food for tonight.” Ned said looking in Marley’s direction while trying to catch his breath. “I’ll rest now. Perhaps I’ll finish telling you the story tomorrow night. If the desert does not get yer first.” Ned then broke out into evil laughter.
_____________________
Beau Gauthreaux
Writing blog: http://fictionspot.net
Art blog: http://rhyminggoat.com
Old Ned had a secret.
He carried it on his back.
To the ordinary folk
It looked like a sack
In Ned’s sack
He kept them alive
forever suffering
their souls inside
If you ever hear
” got a story for ya mate”
run like hell
your souls at stake
The black asphalt road began to cool as it normally would and the sun began to set in the distance. The desert sand began to turn dark gray and the sky black. All was quiet and normal for an Arizona night. The main highway was about 2 miles away. On an off-road next to a large tree and some rocks were four campers, Marley, Tom, Evan, and Mary. They sat by the camp fire roasting marshmallows and began telling jokes and scary stories. Laughter and chatter erupted from the camp site; everybody seemed to be having a good time.
An old man was walking toward the campers coming from the road. He could hear their chatter and laughter. He wore brown leather hat, boots and a long trench coat. As he walked the ground beneath his feet froze, grass and weeds on the side of the road died and withered. A bat that was flying overhead died instantly and fell to the ground. The old man’s skin was pale and eyes were a light colored blue, almost gray, and his hair was long and white which could be seen under his hat. On his back he carried an strange looking leather sack. On close inspection this sack glowed green from the inside, and screams of a thousand suffering souls could be heard.
One of the female campers, Marley saw the old man from the corner of her eye. She turned her head towards him and smiled. It was clear that she had been drinking.
“Hello there mister” Marley said as she waved at the old man approaching the campfire.
The rest of the campers stopped talking and singing immediately and turned to the old man.
“Well hello there young ens.” He responded. “My name is Ned. I have been walking for many miles and was wondering if you folks could spare and old man such as me a glass of water.”
“Of course” said Tom, the young man sitting next to Marley. “We have plenty of water to spare.”
Tom then poured Ned some water from his canteen that was lying on the ground into a plastic cup that was handed to him by Evan.
“Here ya go” Tom said as handing Ned the cup of water.
“Thanks a bunch.”
“Have a seat.” Mary spoke as she dusted off a stump that was next to the fire. She then sat back down and leaned up against Evan and grabbed his hand making it obvious they were a couple.
“For giving me this glass of water I would like to pay you back by telling you young folks a story, but first I don’t think you told me your names.”
Marley spoke up. “Of course how rude of us. My name is Marley. This is my husband Tom.” She then held Toms hand. “And these are our good friends Mary and Evan.”
“Well nice to meet ya” Ned had a horse voice. “Would you like to hear the story?”
“Of course.” Evan suggested. “We love stories.”
“Well then I’ll get right to it, but it’s a scary one so be prepared.” Ned grinned and laughed in an evil way.
The rest of the campers burst out in laughter. Ned then got a serious look on his face and leaned towards the fire. The others quieted down and leaned in as well giving Ned their full attention. He then spoke.
“There was once a preacher who lived by the good book. He was a good lad did everything right. Never stole, never lied, never did anything wrong. He had the most beautiful wife, and he loved her very much. They had eight children. One day while out to get groceries his wife was killed in a car wreck by a drunk driver. The preacher became very depressed and angry over the loss of his wife. People say he went mad. He locked the family in the house, and would not let them leave. He began taking the good book very seriously and began living by its rules word for word. The preacher one day took up a shotgun and killed the driver that was responsible for his wife’s death. When the police showed up at his house to arrest him the preacher was waiting for them on his porch. That day he gunned down 12 police officers before they were able to kill him. Legend has that after the preacher was shot dozens of times he walked back into his house, and the body was never found. He was filled with such hatred and anger he could not be killed by conventional means. After that anybody that entered the house was never to be found. Their souls were sucked into the walls.”
The campers were engrossed in Ned’s story. Their eyes became affixed onto his eyes. It as if they had come under some sort of trance or spell. Their faces were expressionless. Ned reached over his shoulder and placed the leather sack in front of him on the ground. He began to untie the string that kept it closed. He then peered back into the campers eyes.
“Now just as they were sucked into the house. Yur souls will get into my sack.”
Ned opened the sack and the green light lit up the sky, and you could hear the screams from the souls trapped inside. Mary was the first to go. She tried to fight and look away, but a large black arm reached out from the sack and pulled her soul forcefully from her body. Her body fell limp to the ground. Evan had less of a will barely got out a scream before he was pulled in. Tom on the other hand almost broke from Ned’s trance but Ned stood up and extended his hands towards Tom and said. “Nice try boy, but I’m too strong for you.” Tom realized his efforts were futile as he was being pulled into the sack. He came to the realization that if he could not save himself he would save Marley. He reached out with his arm and slapped Marley on the shoulder. This worked. Marley broke the trance like she had just woken up from a horrible nightmare. She screamed as Tom lay at her feet dead. Before Ned could get a grip on her she ran as hard and as fast as she could. Ned would not give chase. He was worn out from all the soul pulling he had just done. For now he would have to retreat back into the darkness from which he came.
“I got my food for tonight.” Ned said looking in Marley’s direction while trying to catch his breath. “I’ll rest now. Perhaps I’ll finish telling you the story tomorrow night. If the desert does not get yer first.” Ned then broke out into evil laughter.
_____________________
Beau Gauthreaux
Writing blog: http://fictionspot.net
Art blog: http://rhyminggoat.com