Ballet in a Laundromat

[~Sophia~]

Ballet in a Laundromat - by ~Sophia~

tomorrow - and everything after
dissolves like a creased note in love
with its pocket on laundry day

the (de)composing directions to a bonfire
burn the ruby slippers, spin en pointe,
fouettés en tournant – ignite…

(third on a match) combustible lint
eyes tumbling in embers, arms
folding into freckled skin

coda; sift what’s left
dance again

[Virgil]

Very nice Sophia. I hadn't read one of your poems in a while. I was really struck with this simile: "like a creased note in love/with its pocket on laundry day." :)

[~Sophia~]

Thanks Virgil! Those darn pockets are so alluring sometimes!

[a_little_wisp]

*Pirouette!* The rhythm, Sophia, did you mean for it to be like ... tumbling laundry? Because it sounds like it, and I am in love, and I am in love with this (and even I weren't in love, I'd be in love with this).

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
will you, won't you join the dance?

[acdouglas92]

Ballet in a Laundromat - by ~Sophia~

tomorrow - and everything after
dissolves like a creased note in love
with its pocket on laundry day

the (de)composing directions to a bonfire
burn the ruby slippers, spin en pointe,
fouettés en tournant – ignite…

(third on a match) combustible lint
eyes tumbling in embers, arms
folding into freckled skin

coda; sift what’s left
dance again

Sophia - I not sure exactly if I know you just yet, but your thread caught my eye. This was amazing...nice piece of work. Its meaning slightly alludes me, but I love the imagery and the sound of it all! :)

[~Sophia~]

Hey Wispy! Nice to see you (well, read you... nice all the same LOL). I have to say I didn't consciously think about the rhythm but the poem is sort of comparing life (mostly love) to an important note left in a pocket on laundry day. How the ink dissolves in the wash, how tumbling in the dryer shreds it and all you can do is try to piece it together and start again (or go on). I love that you are in love and, that you love the poem!!!

_________________________________________________

Hello acdouglas92 (quite a handle, hope you don't mind if I shorten it in the future LOL). I'm not certain what you mean by knowing me... do you mean personally or by my poems? I have several posted on my blog
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?u=56988 here on Lit-Net that you can check out in case we have crossed pens in a forum or workshop before LOL. Thanks for reading and commenting! Glad you liked it!

[TheFifthElement]

This is beautiful Sophia, very musical and intense with imagery. For some reason it struck me that this:


on laundry day

was separate from the preceding line, as though the rhythm ends with 'its pocket' like so:



tomorrow - and everything after
dissolves like a creased note in love
with its pocket

on laundry day

but maybe that's just me. It works anyway. I love that you've thrown in the detail of the paper and then gone deeper, beyond the words and the advertisement into a human moment, just a quick hint at it and the rest is left to our imagination, which is what all good poetry does.

I also like that you've taken, again, an ordinary, almost frustrating incident - leaving some paper in your pocket in the laundry - as inspiration for a poem. Just goes to prove that poetry is everywhere and inspiration is there if you have the eyes and the skill to interpret it. Which you do, by the way :D

[~Sophia~]

Hi Fifth! Thanks for the suggestion. I'm not at all opposed to the line break change. And thank you very much for your kind commentary! I often think it's the things that appear to be insignificant (the day-to-day things) that actually impact our lives a lot.

[MorpheusSandman]

I really like this... it reminds me of a being a kid and jumping into a pile of laundry that just got out of the dryer. Mmmmmmm...

[~Sophia~]

Hi Morpheus! What a lovely interpretation! It's quite stunning and eye-opening to read how others interpret what you've written. Thanks for commenting!

[breathtest]

Hey sophia, i think this is the best poem of yours i have read. It is a leap forward from your other poetry. I love your imagery. 'eyes tumbling in embers' is my favourite line and it is a striking image.

I am so impressed, thank you for posting this

[Stargazer86]

dissolves like a creased note in love
with its pocket on laundry day

I also loved this line

It is always a joy to read your poems. Lovely :)

[~Sophia~]

No, thank you breathtest. I'm thrilled that you like it!

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Stargazer, thanks for stopping in and I cherish your wonderful comment!