Painless love

[Free Falcon]

My love toward you
has never been a pain
It is a flower that grew
up in my veins

A flower with an aromat
which is a unique for the planet
so, never forget that,
and never blame my heart

Good bye, i am not suffering
even , when we are apart
My heart is always calling
your name in every beat

[just mercedes]

Lovely sentiment in your poem. Some of the word choices (toward in the first line, and aromat) seem hasty, and the inverse use of capital letters is odd to me. But the overall impression is of a constant, steady love that endures.

[Free Falcon]

Lovely sentiment in your poem. Some of the word choices (toward in the first line, and aromat) seem hasty, and the inverse use of capital letters is odd to me. But the overall impression is of a constant, steady love that endures.

Hello Juste mercedes
Thank you for reading and commenting
I am doing my best to improve my english and to get red of the odd writing.
Your notices in this forum help me to to do that
Please do write any critism..i would be thankful
All of the best

[Buh4Bee]

My love toward you
has never been a pain
It is a flower that grew
up in my veins

A flower with an aromat
which is a unique for the planet
so, never forget that,
and never blame my heart

Good bye, i am not suffering
even , when we are apart
My heart is always calling
your name in every beat

You may be experiencing some language struggles in the second stanza: 'aromat' and 'is a unique for the planet'. I was wondering about the vocabulary of aromat as the best word choice and the grammatical structure of the second listed quote.

I know you were asking for specific feedback on language, since English is your second language. Ordinarily, I would not be so specific when critiquing a poem.

It seems that you are attempting to write in rhyming couples and this may actually restrict the expression of the poem, as well as be the reason you chose the word aromat.?

I think the sentiment that is expressed is very sweet. I love the idea of saying good-bye in such a positive way (even though you will see each other again).

[Free Falcon]

You may be experiencing some language struggles in the second stanza: 'aromat' and 'is a unique for the planet'. I was wondering about the vocabulary of aromat as the best word choice and the grammatical structure of the second listed quote.

I know you were asking for specific feedback on language, since English is your second language. Ordinarily, I would not be so specific when critiquing a poem.

It seems that you are attempting to write in rhyming couples and this may actually restrict the expression of the poem, as well as be the reason you chose the word aromat.?

I think the sentiment that is expressed is very sweet. I love the idea of saying good-bye in such a positive way (even though you will see each other again).

For such fruitful critism.i am gere
Thank you my friend jersea