A poem I wrote on New Years Eve

[acdouglas92]

Hey guys,

Please tell me what you think! I'm open to criticism; I've never really let anyone judge my own work, so here goes (the verse is very free, I'm not much of a rhymer) Haha...:

A Song for the End

So.
Nine women sacred to Apollo.
You have sung of the rage of Achilles
beautiful rage;
Which so easily slew sixty men.
Ah! and the tactician Odysseus whose
finest hour bore him finer sorrows
sorrows unearned; purely destiny.

Now.
I tire of this teasing. For you know
the knowledge I want.
Far greater than the patroness of
Athens,
Far deeper than the underbelly of Hell,
itself,
is the enlightenment which I seek.

So!
Curse all else! The happenings of
gods and men
mortals and immortals!
Satiate me! For I too, wish to know
true satisfaction, as did the son of Peleus
when for Patrocolus he had slain
that doomed Trojan prince.

Yet.
You dare ask me now
Calliope! if I wish an epic?
Clio! for a lesson in history?
Euterpe! lyric song?
Thalia! to let light comedy take its place? (of which there is none)
Terpsichore! the farce of dance?
Erato! …I will not say;
Polyhymnia! I deem your sacred songs unnecessary,
and Urania! I banish your astronomy
to the starry heavens…

Hereby.
Answer my supplication, Melpomene!
Sing to me the sweet sorrows
of men, sealed once first man
let fall the fruit of knowledge.
Volere – to wish, and so I wish to
know how the world ends…
how the world ends…
whether by bang or whimper
‘round a prickly pear
at five o’clock in the morning.

Whether
By ice or hail,
wind or rain,
sleet or snow…
I wish to know my end,
your end, for even Tragedy
cannot last forever;
Apollo’s dearest must perish in
the Seven Vaults of Heaven.

So. Now I will be blunt.
Sing to me of a hellish apocalypse
now! Seventies forgotten, hell reigns eternal.
Or if the earth survives and Beelzebub
is banished, volo cognere!
Dear Muse,
are you trembling?

For even Descartes agreed,
“Cogito, ergo sum.”
Why so afraid to think? to be?
Galileo took a try,
dared to say that We
are not the center
of life, but instead that we revolve
around It.

Please –
strum your lyre and sing to me
one last time the end of all
humanity, lost in beginnings of time!
Call the Fates, your dearest friends:
take our spool, unravel, and cut, for
I think I have seen far too much in this
lifetime, enough for an eon.

Enough!
ring Hemmingway’s bell once more,
let It toll for the sad souls of men,
drunk on an aged tankard of hope
and bewildered by an illusion
of false continuation.

Though I do not say I am
the wiser.
For I too dared to question my own
reality, my own existence, for none the wiser.
Socrates would laugh at my folly: But I
am ready to drink his poison, I shall enjoy following
in the footsteps of a conscience ripped asunder.

Now sing! Sing, Muses!
of beautiful rage, sorrows, and life yet to be lived…
But, oh! Just one note
too late…

[the day before next…12/31/08]

[MorpheusSandman]

I really love these kind of reference/allusion heavy poems; you always know there's a lot behind it that you're missing the first several times around. It's certainly the kind that could benefit from footnotes! My knowledge of the ancient myths is only rudimentary so I only understood some of them, but I love the idea of evoking the Muses and Immortals for such great knowledge. The poem is really an interesting mix of the Homeric and modern styles; it's form is more evocative of the latter, its content, honesty, and lack of wink-winking elitism is more evocative of the former. My favorite line is:

Galileo took a try,
dared to say that We
are not the center
of life, but instead that we revolve
around It.

It's really interesting because its ambiguous as to whether revolve around the center, life, or both.

[qimissung]

This is really good, even without the allusion (am I correct?) that the world ended. I, too, love the allusions, and the mix of reference from the Muses, to Descartes, Socrates and Hemingway. Beautiful!

[acdouglas92]

Well...thank you very much! I'm touched to know that people actually enjoyed my work!
Qim, the allusion is that the world ends, but you could go a bit deeper than that. To me (and you can interpret it any way you want, of course), the poem centers on the man wanting to know how the world ends. But by the time the Muses are ready to tell him, it's already...too late. Make sense? Any thoughts?

Thanks again for reading!

[acdouglas92]

And Morpheus: I never really thought of that stanza that way; thanks for your thoughts. I guess you could say that it really is meant to humble us, that perhaps in the grand scheme of things, we are not as significant as we may have thought. Agree? Disagree?

[MorpheusSandman]

It actually reminds me of a comment Prince made about my recent poem (Questioning Cosmos) in that the over-examined life leaves little time for living it. I guess the art is in finding the balance. That desperate need to know certainly comes through in the piece.

[acdouglas92]

Hm...finding the balance. Very true. "Questioning Cosmos"? Could I check it out?

Do you have a link to the thread? (I love poetry).

[MorpheusSandman]

Here: http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44820

[Monamy]

Really... REALLY touching... just... WOW =)

[acdouglas92]

Wow....that's all I have to say. Wow. Morpheus, really, an excellent piece of work. I love the idea of a "tragic funhouse". The first stanza just ropes you in and doesn't let go from there! Definitely something to be proud of!

And Monamy - Thank you very very much! :)

[breathtest]

Keep on writing free verse, me thinks it flows much better. Do not try and force rhymes, they seem fake. I really like this poem, especially its references to greek tragedy (i am currently reading nietzche)

[Buh4Bee]

Something inspired this:

A Reply to a Beast

I am here, but who are you?
There is great need for urgency in this reply.
Please gentle patience, WAIT!
I cannot pen an answer as quickly as the queen of Carthage threw herself into the flames.
I have only just discovered this rage,
And still do not know if it is the one I seek.
I am here, but who are you?
Has your lifeless form sailed to the top of my mountain?
Your great bellows fill my sail, there is no fear left in me
My sorrow has stripped my skeleton.
I Circes, a hollow witch,
BEAST! HOW DARE YOU demand of me such things!
I bow to you as a suppliant might,
I have been without you and have not known such grief
since the death of a great beloved.
Who knew this could be so?
But what does it matter whether in my dreams or none at all?
I breathe and know it cannot be any different.
Is it all but in my crazy head.
Oh lucky fortune, will I receive your answer?

[acdouglas92]

Jersea - I love it. Really, I absolutely love it. It's funny, I just read books 1-6 of the Aeneid just a few hours ago, so all of your allusions really resonated with me! Dido, Circe...you're imagery is really striking. I absolutely sensed that urgency that you spoke about in your poem. Please, keep writing, I'm intrigued to see another one! Excellent poem!

[Buh4Bee]

sorry, posted the wrong poem, add another asap

[acdouglas92]

A Canto for Insanity

Oh foolish mortal,
You dare invoke Melpomene’s wrath?
It seems you are the one who does not understand the danger of these notes.
And you speak of deeds undone; is this not the epitome of human desire?
You say volo cognere, volo cognere! And yet,
I promise you, you do not wish to know.

Dare you say that you have enough power to embody the gods,
test the energy of celestial forces? Bah!
It seems to me you have no idea what you are dealing with,
No idea what temptations do you touch.
For what then happens if we know?
What then is the point of life?
And that is my complete question;
that is what I ask you.

And so it is.
The bell has rung
for drunken men no less.
And the point? In their stymied stupor,
can they even begin to comprehend that
it may just be the first signal
of the end?
Forewarned me of insanity?
You dare believe that I am not gifted
(as are you)
with foresight?

Come, let us play this game, you and I,
until Dawn with her rosy fingers unveils
the dark curtain of the virgin Night.
But know this, and know it well.
I will not answer your riddle until
you reveal to me everything.

For I cannot be an Adam,
so foolishly led by the wiles of curiosity
to an impending doom.
For I do not believe an answer can be found.
Nor is this an illusion;
the only bewilderment you will find
shall lead you into insanity.

I must know that your wish is veritable.
Do you truly wish to know your end?
I daresay you do not.
But if you do,
hear my supplication,
tell me your hopes, fears, and dreams,
and we shall tempt the Fates,
and find the oh so fragile future
of mankind.

But only if you wish.
To know.

[Buh4Bee]

I dropped the wrong thing.

[~Sophia~]

Hello again AC (for short LOL). Though I am woefully unqualified to comment on Greek Mythology, Gods & Godesses and/or the end of the world as anyone knows it... I just wanted to say I really enjoyed both poems. You have a very nice way with language and a strong melodic voice. I will never object to poetry that doesn't rhyme... I much prefer free verse. Cheers and I look forward to more of your work.

[acdouglas92]

Ah you found me! Well excellent then, I'm glad you enjoyed them. I'll be coming out with some more shortly, don't worry. Thanks very much, I enjoy yours as well. See ya around.

[acdouglas92]

Hey guys...probably been awhile since this thread last had anything written on it, but please check out this poem! You know how I love comments!!

Untitled

Where does the soul meet the mind?
Is this not the essential question;
that which questions the audacity of humanity?
I daresay that soul and mind
are but two separate entities,
coincidentally brought together by none
but the Maker.
And so, if it is He who brings
such complexities into juxtaposition,
how then can we find this ultimate transience?
Cognito, ergo sum, correct? Thus then in the mind?
But then, consider the animas - a living breathing thing.
So how dare these two entwine?
In the great tapestry of life, these two create
a blessed weave, an eternal weave.
So perhaps in this question therein lies a greater complication.
Does our doom lie in not knowing the answer?
Descartes would only agree, and perhaps Socrates
with the aid of hemlock.
But thrice they would concur that this
is only a supplication for equity of both
the spiritual and physical.
And thus only then
can one begin
to unravel this riddle.

[Buh4Bee]

You may be interested in the following thread:

www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?p=758001#post758001

[Buh4Bee]

Hey AC,
Not sure why people are so quiet. I've read your poem and I very much enjoyed it. It reminded of your previous poems stylistically and thematically. I personally love your voice and the didactic manner in which you lead the reader through your thought process of pondering the meaning of man's existence. I was tempted to respond to you with a poem, but wimped out. Just didn't know what to say, since the question is such an antiquated argument.

jersea! :wave:

[acdouglas92]

Jersea,

Thank you so much for responding! I've been trying to tell people that I LOVE COMMENTS...haha but you're the only one who understands me, so thank you. Oh do respond with a poem, I promise it won't get out of hand this time! ;) But really, feel free to completely dissect my poems. I love the commentary, and everything you say helps me become better (because I'm planning to apply for a certificate for creative writing at Princeton) *gasp*

[Buh4Bee]

Glad to comment! You should go for the Princeton certificate- great campus!! I really don't have to much more to say than what I already mentioned. I'll try to work in the poem, but I'm having a hard time express my ideas.
I think it's better to get a few people saying different things. AC keep up the great writing!

[qimissung]

ac, it's very good. In fact I just re-read "Girl, Interrupted" and she asks that very question. It's one I certainly find endlessly fascinating. I was just thinking of doing a series of poems based on different philosophies, for my own enjoyment. Maybe, like jersea, I will be inspired shortly by what you have written.

I like the lines "in the great tapestry of life, these two create a blessed weave, an eternal weave..." beautiful!

[acdouglas92]

qimissung! Thank you so much! Perhaps I'll have to read "Girl, Interrupted". I would definitely encourage that; that's such a great idea! I'd love to see what you come up with.

Haha, honestly those lines sounds like the most strange out of all of them, but I'm glad they were your favorite. Check for a message from me soon; I loved your poem as well.