PDA

View Full Version : Balkans Society (Would really appreciate people's thoughts)



LeonClaire
06-13-2009, 10:40 AM
After killing an intruder James in self defence in his home, Henry's heroics lead him into a dangerous game of cat & mouse that James family plays on him,Henry loses his only son & his daughter is missing.Lieutenant Alexander requests the case,as it becomes a desperate search to find Henry's missing daughter.

When Danielle Ashford is found, lieutenant Alexander cannot forgive what they've done to her, The lieutenant hints that Jacobs family may be more than just savage killers, is the lieutenant giving away more than what we should know.

Chapter 1 Beginning:
Attack on the Ashford's)
Henry's Court case)

Chapter 2 Revenge:
Michael's death)
Danielle Kidnapping)

Chapter 3 Introduction:
Lieutenant's Intro)
Danielle transformation)

Chapter 4
Danielle finds shelter)
Danielle decides to kill herself)

Chapter 5
Alexander finds Danielle)
Alexander persuades Danielle not to kill herself)

Michael T
06-13-2009, 11:00 AM
is the lieutenant giving away more than what we should know.



I don't know about the Lieutenant, but you certainly aren't giving away more than we should know! I think you need to write a little more and perhaps give a brief synopsis of each chapter before returning for an opinion. There is simply not enough there to be able to give a comment. I look forward to reading a more detailed version. Good luck LeonClaire. :)

krispykritta
06-13-2009, 11:38 AM
yea, this synopsis isn't as detailed as your others have been. when are u going to write some of this stuff down?

sc9108
06-13-2009, 04:19 PM
have u wrote a full short yet ? , (sorry for my grammer on pocket pc)