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PrudensOptimus
11-13-2002, 01:38 AM
Hi Literature experts, I am not good at English, which I am ashamed of. So please don't laugh, and I need your help, could any of you please make corrections if needed to my following short summary of Top Man base on grammar, sentence formation, style? Thanks.



Long before us, there were incalculable extraordinary men who have accomplished so much in their field of mountaineering; they strive with the deadly wraths of Mother Nature; they let not any chance of surviving to slip through; they fight with their team mates; their bodies are sometimes frozen, causing them insufficient blood transmission to every body parts, thus body stop functioning and finally lead to death. However, few of them were lucky, like Nace and Osborne. Only a few, survived, and only a few, conquered the wraths of Mother Nature.

Nace and Osborne are two different men from different background. Nace boasts an older experience in his British style of mountain-climbing. It is his second time battling against the great K3. Osborne, who himself thought to be the best of the best but really never got along with the team mates. He never got along with Doctor Schlapp, and he has always opposed Bixler. He annoyed, in a way, Nace by his fast decisions.

From the story, we could see that Nace has a great deal of experience in mountain-climbing: “Nace, the Englishman, the only among us who was not staring at K3 for the first time. He had been the last to come up out of the gorge and stood now with arms folded on his chest.” (pg. 97). The story also told us what type of patience Osborne has: “’Wait? WHY?’ Osborne jerked his head up.” (pg. 98). We also could infer from page 106 that Osborne never listened to Nace. Also, we could infer that Nace was a leader. He led the team to victory at last.

Nace and Osborne both loved mountaineering. They share the same passion to climbing K3. They shared the same goal of victory. They shared, at last, the victory of climbing K3.
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sam
11-16-2002, 01:41 AM
I once upset someone who asked me to help them with a similar kind of thing, so i want you to know that i mean well even if i'm not helpful.

Long before we were born, there were many(simpler language is often better and truer.) extraordinary men who accomplished much(or "many things") in the field of mountaineering (the field of mountaineering is not theirs alone, but if you could assume that we knew their field was mountaineering you could write, "They accomplished much in their field."): (either a colon or end of sentence, but punctuation is often a matter of coice. Just try to have certain ideas about what it means to you and use it consistently.)
...mountaineering: they strove(past tense agrees with accomplished) with the deadly wrath of Mother Nature (wrath is singular because a character trait of "Mother Nature", but "perils of nature"), they (did not let) any chance of (surviving/survival) slip through ("their fingers" completes the common metaphor){You don't need "to" in to slip because you don't want the infinitive form here the whole of the verb is -they did not let slip-}
they fought with their teammates, (their bodies were sometimes frozen causing the circulation of blood to cease and bringing on death.) {I'm not sure here, it's a little bit awkard- they were subjected to extreme cold, the possibility of frostbite, and even death.} However (a) few of them were lucky like Nate and Osborne. Only a few survived and only a few conquered the wrath of Mother Nature.