andave_ya
06-11-2009, 12:04 AM
Bill Johnson put on his "JESUS SAVES" t-shirt over his sweater and walked gingerly into the Bank of America where his meager funds were carefully stored. He was third in line when all of a sudden a man - a very short man - dressed in black from head to toe burst into the room. At first, Bill Johnson wondered if he was from Iraq and had to dress in those sari things. But he knew he was very wrong when the man - wait, is that a woman? He did a double take. It had to be, because as far as he was concerned no one who had a big fluffy red bow on his ski cap could possibly be a Real Man.
Suddenly the bow was tickling his chin, and though Bill Johnson could not see anything below the bow he felt small hands grab his shirt. Caught a bit of chest hair, too - Ouch.
Now the bow-man was shaking him. "Dude, I said, you gotta problem? You deaf or somethin? Blind?"
So startled that someone would dare to touch him so intimately, Bill Johnson said the ffirst thing that popped into his mind. "No, I just ahhh, think your bow is very pretty."
For a split second Bow-man's jaw dropped, revealing rows of pristine white teeth. Bill Johnson winced as light reflected off those shiny teeth and blinded him.
"I said, this is a stick-up!" Bow-man said. "So gimme your money and get down!"
"But the Bible says..." began Bill Johnson, only to have Bow-man backhand him into silence. When he came to, the criminal was already in the safe. Suddenly, the intrepid Bill Johnson connected two and two and made five. Bow-man's teeth had blinded him, so why couldn't he blind Bow-man? Carefully, Bill pulled his pocket mirror out of his ear and positioned it so that the moment Bow-man turned around, he would be blinded.
What Bill didn't know was that Bow-man's eyes were verrrrry sensitive. So much so that, when the reflected light met Bow-man's eyeballs, it penetrated the eye, fried the retina, electrocuted the nerve, which in turn caused Bow-man's brains to turn to mush and pour out of his ears.
Bill "The Man" Johnson was finally a hero.
Suddenly the bow was tickling his chin, and though Bill Johnson could not see anything below the bow he felt small hands grab his shirt. Caught a bit of chest hair, too - Ouch.
Now the bow-man was shaking him. "Dude, I said, you gotta problem? You deaf or somethin? Blind?"
So startled that someone would dare to touch him so intimately, Bill Johnson said the ffirst thing that popped into his mind. "No, I just ahhh, think your bow is very pretty."
For a split second Bow-man's jaw dropped, revealing rows of pristine white teeth. Bill Johnson winced as light reflected off those shiny teeth and blinded him.
"I said, this is a stick-up!" Bow-man said. "So gimme your money and get down!"
"But the Bible says..." began Bill Johnson, only to have Bow-man backhand him into silence. When he came to, the criminal was already in the safe. Suddenly, the intrepid Bill Johnson connected two and two and made five. Bow-man's teeth had blinded him, so why couldn't he blind Bow-man? Carefully, Bill pulled his pocket mirror out of his ear and positioned it so that the moment Bow-man turned around, he would be blinded.
What Bill didn't know was that Bow-man's eyes were verrrrry sensitive. So much so that, when the reflected light met Bow-man's eyeballs, it penetrated the eye, fried the retina, electrocuted the nerve, which in turn caused Bow-man's brains to turn to mush and pour out of his ears.
Bill "The Man" Johnson was finally a hero.