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Pendragon
06-10-2009, 08:30 AM
ABADDON

The lightning crackled overhead
like the sound of a taskmaster’s whip.
The blinding rain robbed me of my vision,
and as I stumbled sightless between two massive granite pillars,
a searing thunderbolt broke with unbridled fury the stone column on my left,
toppling it across the rocky pathway, cutting off my retreat.
While the storm raged and wailed like a tormented soul far above my head,
I staggered on, ever downward,
into a valley of smoking fire pits
wreathed in a dank, heavy mist.
The spirits of departed dreams filed past,
dragging with them the clanking chains of despair.
Behind them a moaning horde of lifeless hopes
came still wrapped in their death-shrouds of despond.
My blood froze within me as I stared at the vision.
I could not rip my eyes away.
A horrible laugh split the mist, and a demonic form approached.
“Welcome!” it laughed, “To total oblivion!”
And as the vapors divided and the fiery pits blazed,
I saw to my everlasting horror—myself!

Pendragon

PrinceMyshkin
06-10-2009, 12:54 PM
That revelation at the end is shudder-making! And you build up to it with the confidence of a master film director!

AuntShecky
06-10-2009, 03:20 PM
That's exactly what I thought of, Prince. Pen's poem is so vivid with images that it reads like an action-packed movie script!

Helga
06-10-2009, 03:56 PM
loved it, and I totally agree with the comments above, you see it as you are reading and when a came the twist at the end I had to re-read it and saw it in a different way...

Pendragon
06-11-2009, 07:51 AM
Movie director? Wow, high praise indeed! I always loved stories with twist endings, so I tried it with my free verse. Glad you liked it! Thanks everyone!

Pen