Lettersndnumbrs
06-05-2009, 04:54 PM
Ignore the Light and Sleep
It came apparent to us that our lives were soon to be obliterated just like skin and bone. Today will be the day Russia is to demonstrate its full arsenal of nuclear weaponry on America. The country is frightened, the government has told us all to hide and keep underground. It was a shame we only had a 20 minute notice… the best place I was able to find was a janitor’s closet in a medical hospital. The room reeked of dirty water and Windex; I couldn’t believe this was how my life was going to end. The picture I dreamt of my last minute on earth was far from this, a kiss on the lips and a long hug with my love all the while our demiser leaches on to our fingertips then limbs then heart until finally we forget all that we have learned since our conceivement. The hope of experiencing this special kind of embracement is now… over. I suppose this is a wish that never will have the chance to materialize.
The sound of racing footsteps and heavy panting from the outer hallways consumed all thoughts and sounds in this dark tiny space of a room. At times there were shrieks… yells… cries… cries for Jessica, Allan, Will, Michael, Clarence, Teresa, all with no cries back. We were ants, watching frantically while black rubber ate away the blue marble sky. It was helplessness that brought the humans down to ants, ants filled with helplessness, and I was one of these helpless ants.
My watch read 2:54 and time was running out fast. I couldn’t stand being here in this pitch dark closet anymore… I was in isolation with the world. The world was out there and I was in here, alone. Thinking of the word alone made me jump up in distress, the thought of me dying here, now, I just can’t stand it... I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS! I quickly lunge to the door and attempt to unlock it. “**** it’s jammed!” I yell to myself. There was a circular hole on the door where the old door knob used to have been, so I stick my arm right in it and attempt to get the attention of anyone outside to help me get out of this isolation. I kept waving my hand but nobody helped, then suddenly, I felt a sudden jerk in my arm… and I immediately withdrew my arm back in to the room. My arm was slashed a full 6 inches and I was losing blood in a drastic rate. Now I was completely helpless, there was nothing in this room except me and a puddle of blood. “I don’t want to die now, why now, why like this”, I say to myself while my eyes began to tear. I peered through the hole this time hoping to see someone, but there was none; they have all found a hiding spot. I am now starving for company; any sign of life would end this starvation. “Jessica! Allan! Will! Michael! Clarence! Teresa!” I cry in the empty hallway, and like the last time… there were no cries back. Giving up is all that’s left, and so I sat against the jammed door, with my hands folded neatly, looking across the room at a bottle of water. Good night, I whisper to everyone in this hospital.
“HELLO, is anyone here?” The sudden outburst of a hello shocked me back in to life. The helplessness has seemingly evaporated and now excitement has taken its place. I pierce through the hole to look for the person who is looking for anyone, and so there she was. 20 feet away, she saw me look through the door hole and so she ran to me. As I saw her running towards me I felt a peculiar connection with her. No other feeling I have ever felt before. Perhaps it was because of the final minutes to our end. Perhaps it was because we were the only two interacting people in this hospital, perhaps it just is. Which ever reason it was I didn’t care, the fact that I wasn’t alone anymore, the fact that I knew someone was in the same situation as me made me feel better. “What’s you’re name”, she asked me, and I responded with only mumbles. The preparation of death from a nuke had me all lost and confused that I could not even figure out my own name…I had to answer quickly or else she might leave me…I just couldn’t let that happen, I couldn’t let the feeling of helplessness overtake myself again. So I responded to her…”What does it matter”, my name will never be remembered, my name won’t change the course of this bomb, what good is it to tell you my name? And so she responded, “Well, because you might be the last person I will ever get to speak to, and if you are, not knowing the person I said hello to will leave me empty inside”. What she told me made perfect sense to me, as if she was reading my diary out loud. My name is Oscar, what’s you’re name. My name is Miranda, she told me. The hallway quickly became silent for 20 seconds…a disappointment enshrouded us. With each second passing by I knew the chance to know this girl, to speak to this girl, is coming and going. I thought to myself I need to break this silence… “Miranda I’mmmm…” she interrupted me and asked if she could hide inside the closet with me. “I would love to but the door is jammed I can’t open it”, I told her. Her face changed from gloomy to frantic, “Then we need to break this damn door!” she yelled. There wasn’t really any use trying to open the door, we were both destined to be incinerated, I told this to myself but she kept begging for help and so I couldn’t resist. If this connection I feel with her is even real, then I needed to do something to prove it is. I got up and told her I’ll ram myself from the inside so she might need to stay away. My mind kept getting hazier and hazier because of the large amount of blood loss, but I didn’t care… I wanted to be with her without this door between us. And so I rammed the door, starting from the back of the closet I had to kick the buckets and water bottles to properly reach the back, and so it began…THUMP…THUMP…THUMP…and thump. With every pump of blood left in my heart I rammed the door to the point of about breaking, THUMP…THUMP…but the door never opened… in disappointment I cried, “I’m sorry Miranda”. “Oscar, its okay if you can’t break open the door, I’ll just sit beside you on the other side of the door, its okay” she promised me. I still don’t feel okay, when I knew the only thing she wanted was to be in this room, I wish I could let her in but it was something I could not give her. I felt guilty when she was the one who made me lose this loneliness while I wasn’t able to give her anything in return.
“Thank you Miranda, for being here with me, I became something I would never expect myself to become in these last few minutes until you came along.” “I should be the one saying thank you”, she said…”Oscar, from what I saw out there in the city streets, the world has become something you would never expect, everywhere I turned bodies from the tallest buildings kept falling down on the street pavement, people committing suicide right then and there in front of my eyes, blood was everywhere.”, she said to me. As she kept going on about all that has happened, not only what she saw these last 20 minutes but also before then…I couldn’t help notice time was running shorter and shorter...but for the first time in what seemed to be days… I felt happy, even if the subject was about the end of us all, from this moment on the end didn’t feel bad anymore. Miranda made me feel happy for once… we even laughed at times…she was the last person to put a smile on my face, she was the last person to make me laugh… and most important of all, she was the first angel I have ever smiled and laughed with. Our conversation ended with a smile and a glance at each other through the door hole.
The hallway fell silent again for another 20 seconds, but this time, it was a good silence. I and Miranda were satisfied that our final minute will end on a good note. The moment was almost over when a door on the other end of the hallway opened up. A motherly woman with a little boy came out of the room. The mother with her hair wrapped in a bun, and the chubby boy with chocolate all over his mouth, waved at Miranda to hide with them. “Honey, the bomb is gonna land in less then a minute come hide with us in here”. Miranda turned over to me and looked in my eyes, and I looked in to hers…this was the first moment I ever noticed how beautiful she was. With her wavy brown hair, hazel eyes, and the most delicate of faces, this 3 inch hole did not prevent an ounce of beauty come through this room.
I wished to see her in this room with me at this moment, but the door was still jammed. As she looked at me she seemed bewildered, waiting for me to say something. I wasn’t able to open this door, but if another door happens to open for her then god damn it she needs to take it. “Go with them Miranda, you’ll be safer there”, and with a long glance and a couple of tears, she got up and went inside with the mother and boy. My sacrifice was losing her from my life, my sacrifice was fulfillment, but what they were for was for her own comfort, and that to me, was more then enough of a reason to be alone again, even if I was alone in this dark room with bottles of water, Windex, buckets, mops, She made me more then satisfied dying right here and now.
There was now 20 seconds left… and the demise of the world will soon welcome us in his home. Out of nowhere the same door with the mother, boy and Miranda went wide open and Miranda rushed back to my door. She fell right in front of the door and told me she still wants to be my side until the bomb drops down. Her face struggled to smile even with all the wet tears running down her face. Looking in to that face my mood switched back to happiness and I told her “Quickly! Hold my hand! It’s here”, and with a quick motion I stuck out my bloody hand through the door hole grabbing her hand as she grabbed mine. In the last 5 seconds we embraced each other… like never before. This was what my dream was, to embrace my love, even if it wasn’t a hug, our hands hugged, and even if there was no kiss, we still connected with each other. I locked my eyes shut as hard as possible and told her I loved her, even if we only knew each other for the least bit of time, I did love her right then and there. Opening my eyes ever so gently I saw her face squeezing out a smile and crying at the same time… I love you too Oscar.
And so the bomb dropped in to the city and in a split second… everything from a 70 mile radius became obliterated and incinerated. The flames first reached me and Miranda’s fingertips…….then our limbs…….. and finally our hearts. I wish to say to the world good night once more…and I wish to say I love you once more to you…Miranda. Good night.
It came apparent to us that our lives were soon to be obliterated just like skin and bone. Today will be the day Russia is to demonstrate its full arsenal of nuclear weaponry on America. The country is frightened, the government has told us all to hide and keep underground. It was a shame we only had a 20 minute notice… the best place I was able to find was a janitor’s closet in a medical hospital. The room reeked of dirty water and Windex; I couldn’t believe this was how my life was going to end. The picture I dreamt of my last minute on earth was far from this, a kiss on the lips and a long hug with my love all the while our demiser leaches on to our fingertips then limbs then heart until finally we forget all that we have learned since our conceivement. The hope of experiencing this special kind of embracement is now… over. I suppose this is a wish that never will have the chance to materialize.
The sound of racing footsteps and heavy panting from the outer hallways consumed all thoughts and sounds in this dark tiny space of a room. At times there were shrieks… yells… cries… cries for Jessica, Allan, Will, Michael, Clarence, Teresa, all with no cries back. We were ants, watching frantically while black rubber ate away the blue marble sky. It was helplessness that brought the humans down to ants, ants filled with helplessness, and I was one of these helpless ants.
My watch read 2:54 and time was running out fast. I couldn’t stand being here in this pitch dark closet anymore… I was in isolation with the world. The world was out there and I was in here, alone. Thinking of the word alone made me jump up in distress, the thought of me dying here, now, I just can’t stand it... I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS! I quickly lunge to the door and attempt to unlock it. “**** it’s jammed!” I yell to myself. There was a circular hole on the door where the old door knob used to have been, so I stick my arm right in it and attempt to get the attention of anyone outside to help me get out of this isolation. I kept waving my hand but nobody helped, then suddenly, I felt a sudden jerk in my arm… and I immediately withdrew my arm back in to the room. My arm was slashed a full 6 inches and I was losing blood in a drastic rate. Now I was completely helpless, there was nothing in this room except me and a puddle of blood. “I don’t want to die now, why now, why like this”, I say to myself while my eyes began to tear. I peered through the hole this time hoping to see someone, but there was none; they have all found a hiding spot. I am now starving for company; any sign of life would end this starvation. “Jessica! Allan! Will! Michael! Clarence! Teresa!” I cry in the empty hallway, and like the last time… there were no cries back. Giving up is all that’s left, and so I sat against the jammed door, with my hands folded neatly, looking across the room at a bottle of water. Good night, I whisper to everyone in this hospital.
“HELLO, is anyone here?” The sudden outburst of a hello shocked me back in to life. The helplessness has seemingly evaporated and now excitement has taken its place. I pierce through the hole to look for the person who is looking for anyone, and so there she was. 20 feet away, she saw me look through the door hole and so she ran to me. As I saw her running towards me I felt a peculiar connection with her. No other feeling I have ever felt before. Perhaps it was because of the final minutes to our end. Perhaps it was because we were the only two interacting people in this hospital, perhaps it just is. Which ever reason it was I didn’t care, the fact that I wasn’t alone anymore, the fact that I knew someone was in the same situation as me made me feel better. “What’s you’re name”, she asked me, and I responded with only mumbles. The preparation of death from a nuke had me all lost and confused that I could not even figure out my own name…I had to answer quickly or else she might leave me…I just couldn’t let that happen, I couldn’t let the feeling of helplessness overtake myself again. So I responded to her…”What does it matter”, my name will never be remembered, my name won’t change the course of this bomb, what good is it to tell you my name? And so she responded, “Well, because you might be the last person I will ever get to speak to, and if you are, not knowing the person I said hello to will leave me empty inside”. What she told me made perfect sense to me, as if she was reading my diary out loud. My name is Oscar, what’s you’re name. My name is Miranda, she told me. The hallway quickly became silent for 20 seconds…a disappointment enshrouded us. With each second passing by I knew the chance to know this girl, to speak to this girl, is coming and going. I thought to myself I need to break this silence… “Miranda I’mmmm…” she interrupted me and asked if she could hide inside the closet with me. “I would love to but the door is jammed I can’t open it”, I told her. Her face changed from gloomy to frantic, “Then we need to break this damn door!” she yelled. There wasn’t really any use trying to open the door, we were both destined to be incinerated, I told this to myself but she kept begging for help and so I couldn’t resist. If this connection I feel with her is even real, then I needed to do something to prove it is. I got up and told her I’ll ram myself from the inside so she might need to stay away. My mind kept getting hazier and hazier because of the large amount of blood loss, but I didn’t care… I wanted to be with her without this door between us. And so I rammed the door, starting from the back of the closet I had to kick the buckets and water bottles to properly reach the back, and so it began…THUMP…THUMP…THUMP…and thump. With every pump of blood left in my heart I rammed the door to the point of about breaking, THUMP…THUMP…but the door never opened… in disappointment I cried, “I’m sorry Miranda”. “Oscar, its okay if you can’t break open the door, I’ll just sit beside you on the other side of the door, its okay” she promised me. I still don’t feel okay, when I knew the only thing she wanted was to be in this room, I wish I could let her in but it was something I could not give her. I felt guilty when she was the one who made me lose this loneliness while I wasn’t able to give her anything in return.
“Thank you Miranda, for being here with me, I became something I would never expect myself to become in these last few minutes until you came along.” “I should be the one saying thank you”, she said…”Oscar, from what I saw out there in the city streets, the world has become something you would never expect, everywhere I turned bodies from the tallest buildings kept falling down on the street pavement, people committing suicide right then and there in front of my eyes, blood was everywhere.”, she said to me. As she kept going on about all that has happened, not only what she saw these last 20 minutes but also before then…I couldn’t help notice time was running shorter and shorter...but for the first time in what seemed to be days… I felt happy, even if the subject was about the end of us all, from this moment on the end didn’t feel bad anymore. Miranda made me feel happy for once… we even laughed at times…she was the last person to put a smile on my face, she was the last person to make me laugh… and most important of all, she was the first angel I have ever smiled and laughed with. Our conversation ended with a smile and a glance at each other through the door hole.
The hallway fell silent again for another 20 seconds, but this time, it was a good silence. I and Miranda were satisfied that our final minute will end on a good note. The moment was almost over when a door on the other end of the hallway opened up. A motherly woman with a little boy came out of the room. The mother with her hair wrapped in a bun, and the chubby boy with chocolate all over his mouth, waved at Miranda to hide with them. “Honey, the bomb is gonna land in less then a minute come hide with us in here”. Miranda turned over to me and looked in my eyes, and I looked in to hers…this was the first moment I ever noticed how beautiful she was. With her wavy brown hair, hazel eyes, and the most delicate of faces, this 3 inch hole did not prevent an ounce of beauty come through this room.
I wished to see her in this room with me at this moment, but the door was still jammed. As she looked at me she seemed bewildered, waiting for me to say something. I wasn’t able to open this door, but if another door happens to open for her then god damn it she needs to take it. “Go with them Miranda, you’ll be safer there”, and with a long glance and a couple of tears, she got up and went inside with the mother and boy. My sacrifice was losing her from my life, my sacrifice was fulfillment, but what they were for was for her own comfort, and that to me, was more then enough of a reason to be alone again, even if I was alone in this dark room with bottles of water, Windex, buckets, mops, She made me more then satisfied dying right here and now.
There was now 20 seconds left… and the demise of the world will soon welcome us in his home. Out of nowhere the same door with the mother, boy and Miranda went wide open and Miranda rushed back to my door. She fell right in front of the door and told me she still wants to be my side until the bomb drops down. Her face struggled to smile even with all the wet tears running down her face. Looking in to that face my mood switched back to happiness and I told her “Quickly! Hold my hand! It’s here”, and with a quick motion I stuck out my bloody hand through the door hole grabbing her hand as she grabbed mine. In the last 5 seconds we embraced each other… like never before. This was what my dream was, to embrace my love, even if it wasn’t a hug, our hands hugged, and even if there was no kiss, we still connected with each other. I locked my eyes shut as hard as possible and told her I loved her, even if we only knew each other for the least bit of time, I did love her right then and there. Opening my eyes ever so gently I saw her face squeezing out a smile and crying at the same time… I love you too Oscar.
And so the bomb dropped in to the city and in a split second… everything from a 70 mile radius became obliterated and incinerated. The flames first reached me and Miranda’s fingertips…….then our limbs…….. and finally our hearts. I wish to say to the world good night once more…and I wish to say I love you once more to you…Miranda. Good night.