Sapphire

[PrinceMyshkin]

I don’t often think of myself as “blessed.”
I mean, the word schleps after it
the hyper-vivid vocabulary
of the three great desert religions
but
the other day I sent my 7-year old grand-daughter
a children’s poem I’d written
and in reply she wrote

“I like your rhyming skills.”
My “rhyming skills”! I mean who is this
Ms Jr. Helen Vendler?

“It's like things are driving some where, the car or truck or whatever they're driving in, it's so bumpy. I know you'd expect me to say smooth, but I'll say bumpy. Because if it's smooth, it'd just be 'la, la, la,' and more la la las. But It really rhymed. I gotta say it's truthfully so good.”

May I say, then,
may I say that I am blessed?

[AuntShecky]

Oh my, there are so many wonderful aspects of this piece, I don't know where to begin. First, your characteristic humor, i.e. "schlep," "Ms. Helen Vendler,Junior." Second, your affection for the entire world that shines through in all of your work. And thirdly, the multiple ways that you are truly "blessed."
Thank you for posting this. I'm going to go cry now.

[Virgil]

It is a very nice poem. I like the way it rises with elevated diction and then is undercut and then returns I think to a middle ground. Auntie pointed it out, "blessed" to "schleps" and back to "blessed" but now in a warm family significance, not some abstract religious significance. And then notice how that that triad of words is parralleled in the grad daughters' triad of bumpy, smooth, and truthful - again seemingly to rise, undercut and reach a middle ground. Not sure if you were conscious of that Prince, but whoa, that is good. :) I have no idea who Helen Vendler is. But I am so pop culture ignorant. :D

[PrinceMyshkin]

Oh my, there are so many wonderful aspects of this piece, I don't know where to begin. First, your characteristic humor, i.e. "schlep," "Ms. Helen Vendler,Junior." Second, your affection for the entire world that shines through in all of your work. And thirdly, the multiple ways that you are truly "blessed."
Thank you for posting this. I'm going to go cry now.

If indeed it made you cry, I hope they were the cleansing tears of joy! Believe me, but for the sterotypically macho upbringing I got ("Don't cry! Be a man! I'd have spent a good part of the time since I received that note from Sapphire bawling my happy, happy heart out...

Thanks for your characteristically generous response to something of mine.

[PrinceMyshkin]

It is a very nice poem. I like the way it rises with elevated diction and then is undercut and then returns I think to a middle ground. Auntie pointed it out, "blessed" to "schleps" and back to "blessed" but now in a warm family significance, not some abstract religious significance. And then notice how that that triad of words is parralleled in the grad daughters' triad of bumpy, smooth, and truthful - again seemingly to rise, undercut and reach a middle ground. Not sure if you were conscious of that Prince, but whoa, that is good. :) I have no idea who Helen Vendler is. But I am so pop culture ignorant. :D

Sometimes, my friend, you read a better poem than I write. No, I did not consciously intend the triads you mention. As for Helen Vendler, she's a highly respected scholar and critic of serious poetry.

[Virgil]

Sometimes, my friend, you read a better poem than I write. No, I did not consciously intend the triads you mention. As for Helen Vendler, she's a highly respected scholar and critic of serious poetry.

Oh now you ring a bell. I think I've heard of her. Thanks.

[Sapphire]

Blessed indeed :) So sweet :D.


hyper-vivid vocabulary
Great!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Blessed indeed :) So sweet :D.


Great!

Many thanks...

[breathtest]

Beautiful

[Amylian]

I would be lying if I said I did understand the poem in my first reading it, but upon reading the comments and re-reading it again, I began to appreciate it. Things I liked about it is the use of alliteration. It is direct, expressive, and creative. Also the daughter really made me somehow angry by just replying that she "liked your rhyming skills" and forgetting the important aspects in it. Maybe she is just, well, a child. But it still annoys me. lol

[PrinceMyshkin]

Beautiful

Thank you very much!


I would be lying if I said I did understand the poem in my first reading it, but upon reading the comments and re-reading it again, I began to appreciate it. Things I liked about it is the use of alliteration. It is direct, expressive, and creative. Also the daughter really made me somehow angry by just replied that she "liked your rhyming skills" and forgetting the important aspects in it. Maybe she is just, well, a child. But it still annoys me. lol

I'm happy to hear that it did make sense to you after a while. Apropos your anger at little Sapphire, bear in mind that she is just 7 years old, a remarkable age, I think, even to know the phrase "rhyming skills."

Thank you

[ezawislak22]

I like this poem. Great use of "schleps". We should all consider 7 years opinions more often!

[PrinceMyshkin]

I like this poem. Great use of "schleps". We should all consider 7 years opinions more often!

Yes, is it in the Bible Out of the mouth of babes? What a shame it is when social conditioning teaches them to withhold the truth or to tailor it to what they think their listeners want to hear.

[AdrianLeverkuhn]

I liked this quite a bit. Any poem using 'schleps' is a masterpiece in my book. Plus it has a great flow.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I liked this quite a bit. Any poem using 'schleps' is a masterpiece in my book. Plus it has a great flow.

Thanks. Yes, "schlep" is kind of indispensable. Imagine what I could or might do with "kvetch" or "momzer" or "meshugeh" or "Oy Gevalt"!

[qimissung]

Your grandaughter sounds adorable, and you are indeed blessed.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Your grandaughter sounds adorable, and you are indeed blessed.

Yes to both and thank you. When Sapphire was 4ish, she was sitting across the table from a contemporary of hers and said:

"John, let's have a conversation."

"Ok," he said: "what should we talk about? Oh, I know, let's talk about airplanes."

"No," she said: "let's talk about you and me."

[qimissung]

:lol: Precocious, too, I see.

[symphony]

:lol: Precocious, too, I see.

hahaha, yeah that's how it works i think, we have some of the grandchildishness in the grandpa and some of the grandfatherliness in the grandchild! ;) :D

It's a wonderful poem, Uncle Jer, and a more wonderful feeling. :nod: For you, your feel of the warmth gave you the poem; for us, the feel of the poem gave us the warmth. And blessed are you to have felt and written, blessed are we to have read and felt. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

hahaha, yeah that's how it works i think, we have some of the grandchildishness in the grandpa and some of the grandfatherliness in the grandchild! ;) :D

That is the loveliest compliment I think anyone might pay either me or Sapphire!



It's a wonderful poem, Uncle Jer, and a more wonderful feeling. :nod: For you, your feel of the warmth gave you the poem; for us, the feel of the poem gave us the warmth. And blessed are you to have felt and written, blessed are we to have read and felt. :)

Damn the upbringing that brainwashed me NOT to cry even at times like this when I really want to.