Catching Light

[Lyn05]

I heard a dream
Whisper to me
From behind the misted curtains.
And it did so
with all the tenderness in the world.

It said that when daybreak came,
The light would pass through.
And it was up to me to gather it-
Carefully, but with hastened steps
So that it wouldn’t slip away.

I woke up.
And the urgency tingled
As the light came through.

But no matter how I tried,
I couldn’t catch it at all.
And it seeped away
Just like that.

[Niamh]

I had to read this a couple of times. I really hope you dont mind me saying but i couldnt really grasp the flow of the poem... could i perhaps suggest some more punctuation? :)

[Lyn05]

Hi Niamh! Thanks a lot for the advice.:) I read it once more and I agree with you. I just edited it, so...how does it sound? Is it better?

[Niamh]

Yes! much better! :thumps_up it reads well. :)

[Lyn05]

Thanks! I'm glad it turned out well.:)

[The Walker]

simple and nice...

[PrinceMyshkin]

There is something magical in the simplicy of this, the absence of artifice or heightened effects.

[qimissung]

Yes, it slips through one's fingers like water in your clasp. Refreshing and well-done.