Forever_found
05-20-2009, 04:40 PM
Errrm, this is a very short story. It's my first time at the Literature Network Forums, and I haven't checked out any other short stories here to see the general format that most of you write in, so ignore my foreignness. :S
I had written, well more accurately I typed, this during a car ride going from NYC to my home on my phone. It's raw and I revised it a little, hopefully some of you will like it and congratulate me and what not. I would expect friendly criticism ending in smiley faces, saying I could do better if I edit more, most likely about the long run-on sentences and the lack of proper paragraphing. So without further ado, here you go. :redface:
~~~~~~~~~~
I felt the rain patter lightly on my skin falling down from the darkness above, accompanied by the brief flashings and rumblings of distant thunder. I was being slowly drenched by the incoming waters. But didn’t matter because I had found him, I had finally found him. Standing at the end of the dock, the waves touched him briefly each time as they ended their pilgrim journey from beyond the landlocked, crashing onto the breaks of the shore.
He turned around to face me, with a sad little smile that seemed unsuited for his blissful face, and his eyes bright like violet stars. “You found me.” He intoned softly, the calypso swaying of his voice alluring. I said nothing and just stood there, waiting for-waiting for what? What was I waiting for? I did nothing and stood on my ground silently, saying nothing.
He continued to watch me a while longer, then turned his soft eyes back to the sea with his body following, facing that dark, rumbling entity. Staring into the depths seeing things I could never, ever lay my gaze on, he said “There is everything down there.” In great suddenness, his awesome, bright wings unfolded from their resting places. Unveiled now, they spread apart in majestic grace, the moonlight casting faint rainbows across their length.
It was not abnormal to see those wings sprouting from the shoulders of this humanoid figure, dwarfing everything in sight. Instead, it was strangely appropriate, though I felt small and decreased under the shadow of him. Saying nothing more, he flourished his wings and leapt from the wooden foundation from which he had perched, hitting the water and disappearing beneath. The water leaped and splashed about, glad to reclaim its angel child.
As I stood there an white feather blown by the wind floated, swerving this way and that, to rest gently atop the rolling waves.
____________
Staring through the break of the surface to look at her, I pondered. Who will she tell? What will she say? But it didn’t really matter; all she had to prove my existence was her faith.
Feeling sorry for her fate, and then resigning to it, I dove down deep toward home. After all, her fate would be the same as many else; catastrophic. We could touch briefly, we and they, but only briefly. Like candlelights sharing a flame; like waves upon distant shores. Ultimately, the onslaught to come would determine it all, as we remnants of our past came above in our 1s and our 3s, our 10s and 100s, and eventually by our remaining thousands. We would come, not because of a purpose of peace, but a purpose to destroy. It was a purpose that had pervaded throughout us, until it was all we had. We would come, because of a meaningless purpose. We would come, because we remember Atlántida.
I would come, because I remember Atlántida.
I had written, well more accurately I typed, this during a car ride going from NYC to my home on my phone. It's raw and I revised it a little, hopefully some of you will like it and congratulate me and what not. I would expect friendly criticism ending in smiley faces, saying I could do better if I edit more, most likely about the long run-on sentences and the lack of proper paragraphing. So without further ado, here you go. :redface:
~~~~~~~~~~
I felt the rain patter lightly on my skin falling down from the darkness above, accompanied by the brief flashings and rumblings of distant thunder. I was being slowly drenched by the incoming waters. But didn’t matter because I had found him, I had finally found him. Standing at the end of the dock, the waves touched him briefly each time as they ended their pilgrim journey from beyond the landlocked, crashing onto the breaks of the shore.
He turned around to face me, with a sad little smile that seemed unsuited for his blissful face, and his eyes bright like violet stars. “You found me.” He intoned softly, the calypso swaying of his voice alluring. I said nothing and just stood there, waiting for-waiting for what? What was I waiting for? I did nothing and stood on my ground silently, saying nothing.
He continued to watch me a while longer, then turned his soft eyes back to the sea with his body following, facing that dark, rumbling entity. Staring into the depths seeing things I could never, ever lay my gaze on, he said “There is everything down there.” In great suddenness, his awesome, bright wings unfolded from their resting places. Unveiled now, they spread apart in majestic grace, the moonlight casting faint rainbows across their length.
It was not abnormal to see those wings sprouting from the shoulders of this humanoid figure, dwarfing everything in sight. Instead, it was strangely appropriate, though I felt small and decreased under the shadow of him. Saying nothing more, he flourished his wings and leapt from the wooden foundation from which he had perched, hitting the water and disappearing beneath. The water leaped and splashed about, glad to reclaim its angel child.
As I stood there an white feather blown by the wind floated, swerving this way and that, to rest gently atop the rolling waves.
____________
Staring through the break of the surface to look at her, I pondered. Who will she tell? What will she say? But it didn’t really matter; all she had to prove my existence was her faith.
Feeling sorry for her fate, and then resigning to it, I dove down deep toward home. After all, her fate would be the same as many else; catastrophic. We could touch briefly, we and they, but only briefly. Like candlelights sharing a flame; like waves upon distant shores. Ultimately, the onslaught to come would determine it all, as we remnants of our past came above in our 1s and our 3s, our 10s and 100s, and eventually by our remaining thousands. We would come, not because of a purpose of peace, but a purpose to destroy. It was a purpose that had pervaded throughout us, until it was all we had. We would come, because of a meaningless purpose. We would come, because we remember Atlántida.
I would come, because I remember Atlántida.