Forefather

[Delta40]

We emigrated from England to Australia in 1976.

It doesn't seem to matter
now that you've lost the how
You've seen it all be taken
and my voice can't save you now

even my touch can't work a magic
to put a sparkle in your eye
as you lay there on the pillows
and I watch you softly die

Your lips can't mouth a sentence
to soothe a breaking heart
and I can't give you solace
in this room where we will part

But yet there is a glimmer
of a handsome gentle soul
that spilt out upon the family
to remind us of the whole

His trail of 'Please remember
the essence of this man -
was somebody who smiled
a new light across this land'

[Silas Thorne]

Hi Delta! :)
I like the rhythm and can feel the strong emotion in this. There are a couple of lines that seem to take the power of the poem away a little for me though:

'spilt out upon the family' (with 'glimmer', I'm not sure if this works)

And I think you can make the last stanza clearer. 'trail?'

This poem clearly is a very emotional one for you. I don't mean to give you any offense, I just think changing the words in these lines could make it a little better. Again, just my opinion, other people might disagree.

[Delta40]

I understand

But yet I catch a glimmer
of a handsome gentle soul
That once spilt upon the family
And embraced us as a whole

His trail is left for us to remember
The essence of a man
Somebody who once smiled
a new light across this land