My first Poem: I saw a shadow

[Lyn05]

Hi everyone...this is just a poem of mine. It's hardly as amazing as any of your poems here, but still hope you'll enjoy this. Thank you!


I saw a shadow

I saw a shadow
Walk past my window

It turned to face me
With eyes of sorrow

Its mouth opened
Unable to enunciate

All the pain
That showed in its face

I saw a shadow
Walk past my window

It stopped right there
And stared.

[Delta40]

mmm. reflective. would that be a bad word to use for this poem?

[Lyn05]

haha..no, that's perfectly fine :) I was feeling just a little emotional at that point of time, actually.

[ampoule]

Hi everyone...this is just a poem of mine. It's hardly as amazing as any of your poems here, but still hope you'll enjoy this. Thank you!


I saw a shadow

I saw a shadow
Walk past my window

It turned to face me
With eyes of sorrow

Its mouth opened
Unable to enunciate

All the pain
That showed in its face

I saw a shadow
Walk past my window

It stopped right there
And stared.

This is just as amazing as anyone's poetry. Dark, somewhat foreboding. I really liked the ending...ooo chills. More than that, the shadow needed something from you or found something fascinating about you, and, of course, 'you' could be the reader of the poem.

[Lyn05]

Thanks, ampoule. That's a really interesting take on the poem :)
Thank you for the feedback!

[Lynne50]

Read your poem and liked it very much. At first, I too felt a sadness in the poem, but then Ampoule posted with a more upbeat take on it. I really liked Ampoule's interpretation of it.

[Sapphire]

I definitely "enjoy" this - as in liked to read it. I do feel sorry for the shadow though...

Thank you for posting, Sapphire

[qimissung]

Actually it is very good. I like the mystery and the ambiguity. And, like Ampoule says, "o-o-o-h, chills." Well done.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hi everyone...this is just a poem of mine. It's hardly as amazing as any of your poems here, but still hope you'll enjoy this. Thank you!

Surely each and every one of us has felt at times that his or her poem was inferior to some other one(s) here! And those who may not have felt that, whether or not they're as good as they think, might not be very pleasant company...

Among the things I especially liked about your poem was its spareness. I admire those who don't need to underline or hammer their points. Thanks.

[firefangled]

I had a similar take as Ampoule. Seems your shadow had no person and was alone until it found someone waiting at a window.

I liked this very much, especially the way you paired the lines.

If this is your first poem, I hope you write more.

[Monamy]

Ever got this feeling of having something that others wanted?
While still having it, you fail to understand just WHAT this thing is that others want?
And, as you look around you, you can spot the 'shadows' eyeing you in interest?
And then this... chilly aura, starts forming itself all around your body?

That's EXACTLY what I felt when I went through this poem, amazingly short but most amazingly huge! Loved it~♪

[Lyn05]

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all your comments, feedback and encouragement! It really means a lot to me.:D Thank you very much!
Hope that I can improve my writing...thanks again!