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thinkingsam
04-29-2009, 03:21 AM
It's been a while since I posted here, but here's my latest piece. In my original blog post I added a public-domain image of a volcano erupting against a hazy sky; I didn't add that here because I don't know how to resize images on these forums... Anyway, enjoy!

Fiery Struggle (http://thinkingcities.blogspot.com/2009/04/fiery-struggle.html)

Flaming tongues berate the sky,
Lashing out fiercely at its tranquil visage:
Relentlessly, fingers thrust and fists fly;
A heated critique vents its way
Towards a perceived nemesis.

A hazy shroud obscures the silent heaven,
One stabbed and torn by flaming barbs
Protesting its insolence,
Resenting the detached aloofness,
Deploring the uniformity.

"Come down," was the rumble,
"Dirty your heels on this base earth,
Feel sweat on your brow in the heat
And find yourself pining for release."
But the blue expanse watched silently.

The complainant's ire died down but did not cool.
Over the years it would glare at its nemesis,
As if resolving its struggle by a contest of wills.
No, its anger will erupt again in a blazing critique
As the sky keeps its counsel.

- Sam, 2009

Delta40
04-29-2009, 09:13 AM
wow I didn't read your preface and I thought to myself 'that is about a volcano erupting'

so I guess I can say very good writing. i was a bit thrown at first because I felt the beginning was needlessly wordy but as soon as I joined the dots and read through it again, I realised I was wrong.