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View Full Version : The Rising -- A single-paragraph story



beroq
04-23-2009, 06:01 AM
The hardest thing was to cut himself off of the bad dream that he was in, and he struggled again. Then he saw a creature in the distance, shapeless and gruesome. It's nothing to do with me, he thought. He tried once again to free himself; his muscles hardened and his legs stretched out like two dry branches and he felt the pain in his joints. The shapeless creature came nearer. He struggled to run away. Suddenly, he realized thathe was not in a dream. He knew he was dying. He was dying and then he was very scared of it. He panted heavily and felt the heaviness on his chest. The pain was becoming greater. He stretched out his legs and arms again, and his joints cracked. Death was over him, doing surgery on his body. He felt something very cold moving. He got nauseated and his mouth foamed. He thought he was screaming, he could not hear his voice. Dreadfully, he realized that he could not scream to get rid of the pain. He wanted to scream more than anything else. His mouth opened and more foam came out, and his eyes bulged from eye-sockets and became whiter and whiter. The hands reached for the shapeless face on him and could not touch anything. Something hit him hard, and his whole budy contracted under the pressure. His teeth ground. He screamed silently. The dream, so called by the wise in place of life, was almost over. He woke up and found himself dead.

The Walker
04-29-2009, 04:23 PM
i found it interesting. A little confusing. what was the dark creature?

beroq
04-30-2009, 11:39 AM
I guess it is anything what we think to be death. Everyone has a particular image of death in their subconscious.

AuntShecky
04-30-2009, 01:00 PM
If you would like to read a model of a short story showing how
to treat the subject of death in fiction, read "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Tolstoy.

beroq
05-01-2009, 03:43 AM
If you would like to read a model of a short story showing how
to treat the subject of death in fiction, read "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Tolstoy.

I will soon.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Actually, English being my second language, a language that I learned, am still learning, through self-study, I have much concern than an average English speaker when I sit down to write something. My major is in Public Administration and next month I am going to begin my graduate education in Literature in the USA!

Wish me good luck as I will be needing it most of time.

krispykritta
05-05-2009, 07:13 PM
very interesting
i liked reading it

Monamy
05-06-2009, 05:57 AM
I imagined myself in that person's place all the while, great style all over!