breathtest
04-18-2009, 06:03 PM
I am not used to writing poetry like this (about nature) but thought i'd give it a go. Please comment and constructive criticism is very welcome
On the thin, clear surface, there lay many reflections.
As the water glides onwards between the banks, the reflections remain in place,
Shimmering in cold jerks.
Struggling to hold quaking outlines, the trees appear as a mirage
Against the sky, turned a darker green by the river.
It is a mirror, snaking through the land and reflecting
It’s world, the edges of a world beyond its reach,
Which, in its slow wanderings, it will never see entirely,
Nor will it ever flow near.
As the water deepens, so too do the images it contains,
The dense surroundings become thicker
And loom over steep, sweaty banks of hard mud
And loose rocks that embrace the river
In a desperate unity.
On the thin, clear surface, there lay many reflections.
As the water glides onwards between the banks, the reflections remain in place,
Shimmering in cold jerks.
Struggling to hold quaking outlines, the trees appear as a mirage
Against the sky, turned a darker green by the river.
It is a mirror, snaking through the land and reflecting
It’s world, the edges of a world beyond its reach,
Which, in its slow wanderings, it will never see entirely,
Nor will it ever flow near.
As the water deepens, so too do the images it contains,
The dense surroundings become thicker
And loom over steep, sweaty banks of hard mud
And loose rocks that embrace the river
In a desperate unity.