AuntShecky
04-13-2009, 02:32 PM
Am I On?
(for Ampoule)
In addition to an answer,
what hurt most was the waiting
for the ones who'd beaten him
getting through: Artie from Brooklyn,
Mike from Queens, then an endless parade
for Sleepy’s, J & R Music, Gold Bond Powder.
(Could've used that stuff,
what with the sweatlands on his palms.)
On the kitchen table everything
in line: a glass of water,
the slightly-salty, salient
quotes dripping on five by eight
index cards, even a back-up cell --
finally the sexy-voiced producer (?)
picking up to tell him he was up next,
on deck, in the batter’s box, sure as
hell – Capital One, Your Macy’s,
another update on the scores. At last,
“You're listening to Goose and Biff
on WDUH-FM and we're ready for
our next – Goose, did we do the scores?”
“We just did ‘em, Knucklehead. What're ya, senile?”
“Nope, just checking to see if you're on
your toes. Here’s Aristotle from Athens.
Ari? Are you there? Hello? Oh, Arrrrrrr
iiiieeee! Going once, going twice. . .
Are you there?” “Hello? Hello? Uh,
this is Aristotle from Athens. Long time
listener, first time caller. I wanted to
say that I've heard so many theories. . .”
“Hello? Uh, Ari? You want to turn
your radio down, Buddy? TURN YOUR
RADIO DOWN! Going once, going twice. . .”
“. . .but steroids, players being paid
too much, fans having to pay too much
aren't the issues. The Meaning
of Life is the issue. Where
are we going? Why
are we here?”
“Can't hear ya, Pal. Try again.
Right now you're through. Next up
Doug from Rhinebeck-”
Dial Tone.
Busy.
Busy.
(for Ampoule)
In addition to an answer,
what hurt most was the waiting
for the ones who'd beaten him
getting through: Artie from Brooklyn,
Mike from Queens, then an endless parade
for Sleepy’s, J & R Music, Gold Bond Powder.
(Could've used that stuff,
what with the sweatlands on his palms.)
On the kitchen table everything
in line: a glass of water,
the slightly-salty, salient
quotes dripping on five by eight
index cards, even a back-up cell --
finally the sexy-voiced producer (?)
picking up to tell him he was up next,
on deck, in the batter’s box, sure as
hell – Capital One, Your Macy’s,
another update on the scores. At last,
“You're listening to Goose and Biff
on WDUH-FM and we're ready for
our next – Goose, did we do the scores?”
“We just did ‘em, Knucklehead. What're ya, senile?”
“Nope, just checking to see if you're on
your toes. Here’s Aristotle from Athens.
Ari? Are you there? Hello? Oh, Arrrrrrr
iiiieeee! Going once, going twice. . .
Are you there?” “Hello? Hello? Uh,
this is Aristotle from Athens. Long time
listener, first time caller. I wanted to
say that I've heard so many theories. . .”
“Hello? Uh, Ari? You want to turn
your radio down, Buddy? TURN YOUR
RADIO DOWN! Going once, going twice. . .”
“. . .but steroids, players being paid
too much, fans having to pay too much
aren't the issues. The Meaning
of Life is the issue. Where
are we going? Why
are we here?”
“Can't hear ya, Pal. Try again.
Right now you're through. Next up
Doug from Rhinebeck-”
Dial Tone.
Busy.
Busy.