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[kevinthediltz]

She offered herself
A human sacrifice of feeling
“Love” she called it
I could not call back
Refusing her offer
Of body
And blood
Innocence on a silver platter
Tempting,
Like an apple from the tree
That stands alone
In the center of the garden
“You broke me
I loved you
Could you not love back?”
I refused
To cheapen the words

My dear wispy wrote the last two lines unknowingly, which inspired the poem itself.

Title?

[~Sophia~]

A coat throw across a puddle and, chivalry lives. I found it noble in thought and deed!

[kevinthediltz]

Thank you, Sophia. :)

[*Classic*Charm*]

I'm no authority on poetry whatsoever, but this is beautiful, Kevin

[kevinthediltz]

Thank you classic. That means alot.

[a_little_wisp]

I'm no authority on poetry whatsoever, but this is beautiful, Kevin


Why would you say you're not an authority on poetry? Poetry reaches to you some way, doesn't it? You love literature, you love to read, don't you? Thus, I would say you have enough authority. :D

I agree with you about the poem, Classic- s'very good. The way you depicted her innocence and the temptation towards it, Kevin, is very well done. Puh, they're not my words -I'm sure many people have said the same thing - but either way, they fit very, very well into this poem. :D Likes it much, Kev!

[*Classic*Charm*]

Why would you say you're not an authority on poetry? Poetry reaches to you some way, doesn't it? You love literature, you love to read, don't you? Thus, I would say you have enough authority. :D

I agree with you about the poem, Classic- s'very good. The way you depicted her innocence and the temptation towards it, Kevin, is very well done. Puh, they're not my words -I'm sure many people have said the same thing - but either way, they fit very, very well into this poem. :D Likes it much, Kev!


Haha that's why I don't consider myself an authority- vary rarely does poetry elicit any response in me. Thus, I assume I'm missing the point and therefore should direct my reading elsewhere. I do love literature and I do love to read, but my mind does not seem to wrap itself around poetry. This poem, however, touched me. Especially:



Refusing her offer
Of body
And blood
Innocence on a silver platter


This means more than I can say.

How is it, Wisp, that every word you say, whether in formal verse or simply in passing prose sounds like a bell ringing? You're so eloquent!

As I said, Kevin, beautiful, and so very honest it's a relief to know that this exists.

[kevinthediltz]

This poem, however, touched me.

This means more than I can say.

As I said, Kevin, beautiful, and so very honest it's a relief to know that this exists.

:blush: Thank you so much, Classic. Nothing means more to a poet than to know it touched someone. I am flattered.

[LostPrincess13]

*applause* Beautiful.:)

[kevinthediltz]

Thank you princess.

[PrinceMyshkin]

She offered herself
A human sacrifice of feeling
“Love” she called it
I could not call back
Refusing her offer
Of body
And blood
Innocence on a silver platter
Tempting,
Like an apple from the tree
That stands alone
In the center of the garden
“You broke me
I loved you
Could you not love back?”
I refused
To cheapen the words

My dear wispy wrote the last two lines unknowingly, which inspired the poem itself.

Title?

Yes, it is as beautiful as several have said - all the more so, in my view, for being so free of capital "P" Poetic effects.

As for the title, that is for me a separate pleasure from the writing of the poem itself and I wouldn't want to usurp your right to highlight the spark that gave rise to this poem. What I often do, when no obvious title suggests itself, is use the first line as the title (retaining it as the first line).