Just a baby poem.

[a_little_wisp]

Shudder and snap back
Above the keys-
My fingers poised,
My mind is grasping-

And there it is:
A blank space
Between 'hello'
And nothing at all.
And time should never
Be left alone for so long
Without a word
Between us.

[~Sophia~]

And time should never
Be left alone for so long


I re-read those two lines at least a dozen times. I love this one Wispy! (the whole thing).

[skib]

Short and simple but says volumes. Love it Wisp!

[Lokasenna]

An eloquent snapshot of a state of mind that is all too familiar! As always, superb!

[PrinceMyshkin]

And there it is:
A blank space
Between 'hello'
And nothing at all.
And time should never
Be left alone for so long
Without a word
Between us.

Sometimes it's in the shortest things, the seemingly simplest things, the comments made, as it were, over her shoulder, that we can see the brilliance of a poet.

[kevinthediltz]

Short, as always beautiful. An ode to the unsaid. Something we can all relate to.
I love it wispy!

[a_little_wisp]

Sophia, is it strange to say that those are my favorite two lines too? :lol: Are we allowed to do that? They are. And it's one of those things that just came out, that didn't seem as neat as it does now.

Skib, hee! Been trying to shorten my stuff just a little - hasn't been turning out well but for this one. Yay!

Prince - I'm not brilliant. I'm just a dramatic teenager + 2 years who likes to throw words and commas together. :lol:

Lokasenna - it's always rotten to be in that position, huh? Especially online. The awkwardness, the nervousness. ^^; glad you thought it was eloquent.

Kevin - you gave this poem it's title. "Ode to the Unsaid" Nice. :D Thanks!!!

Thank you all SO MUCH for reading and commenting! It means SO much to me!

[jon1jt]

I like the simplicity of this, wisp. There's a gushing quality, a non-judgmental voice that's difficult to capture---as if the poet's observing and participating and yet not knowing what comes in the next line---and you more than pulled it off.

[~Sophia~]

sophia, is it strange to say that those are my favorite two lines too? :lol: Are we allowed to do that? They are. And it's one of those things that just came out, that didn't seem as neat as it does now.

absolutely, unequivocally, resoundingly, yes-yes-yes!

[Virgil]

Very nice wisp. It does capture a moment rather eleequently.

[firefangled]

The beauty of this is to make it happen in such a short span, putting us square in the moment.

Wonderful, Wisp.

[a_little_wisp]

Virgil, why thank ya! And I didn't really mean to capture the moment, just to borrow it -i'm no momentnapper!(:lol: Oh dear, that was so lame. I just thought of the hamburgler and it was over.) But I am honored that you think so. :D

Firefangled, you know what's funny about that is... the creation of the poem occurred when, instead of actually writing anything to the subject of the poem, I pulled up microsoft word and typed the poem instead. I guess I kind of used it as an escape... :( Thank you for reading and commenting, Firefangled, I really appreciate it! :D

[PrinceMyshkin]

Prince - I'm not brilliant. I'm just a dramatic teenager + 2 years who likes to throw words and commas together. :lol:

Very well. I take that back: "brilliant" is a heavy judgment to make on a person, a mark that she must forever after aim to justify. Let me say, instead, that you are an apparently very happy, loving person, who is crazy in love with what she can do with words and does so very, very, very well.