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Dark Muse
04-08-2009, 02:53 AM
Upon A Dying Star

Still are the stars
dead, yet unknowing,
passing wakeful hours,
hiding behind faded illusions

Expanding their energy
in final moments of dependency
before free to fall from the sky

We take their last breath
with our wishes, trysting
in our combustions of
a flicking hope

Last chances are put
upon these dying efforts,
might that dreams live
before they darken
inexcusably.

Lokasenna
04-08-2009, 03:42 AM
I really like the images and the melancholy here - good job!

One point: is 'trysting' a typo for trusting? It changes the meaning significantly if it is, and frankly 'trusting' would make more sense...

Dark Muse
04-08-2009, 04:12 PM
I did you trysting intentionally, though I know it might seem an odd choice.