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Pensive
03-30-2009, 07:31 AM
With no other choice, no other hope
With nothing that binds us together like a rope
It's a goodbye poem or a farewell song
Due to something having gone wrong
Or due to something that never was right
Here I go leaving some advices by your side

Don't look for me in the happy ending of the books
Don't hope to find me in pleasant dreams
Don't search for me in the brightest corners and nooks
Don't try to find my voice in the ever-green trees
Don't look for it in the songs of the birds
Don't search for it in the jingling of keys

Forget me as you probably will
Forgetting me is not going to cost you a bill
Forgetting me wouldn't demand from you to climb a dangerous hill
Forget me because then I wouldn't owe my memory inside your head
Forget me because I really really really want to forget you

Forgive me if anything I misunderstood
Forgive me if I didn't notice you were wearing some hood
Forgive me if inside the hood I could not see your real face
Forgive me if on your face I couldn't spot any care for me
Forgive me for emerging as an annoyance in your life
Forgive me for all the teasing and provocations
Forgive me for putting you in terrible strifes

If you ever looked for me
If I dwelled in your memory in some olden times
If I made enough difference in your life to be asking forgiveness for

My dear friend
I have only one word to say
One syllable to put
One tale to bring
One bell to ring;
Bye!

I am sorry we could not make it to a fond farewell
If there ever is good in goodbye!
PrinceMyshkin
03-30-2009, 07:53 AM
This must be THE definite good-bye message. Because of the length of it, though, the (unintended?) message appears to be [I]Please, please don't forget me... It reads more like


Remember me as I hope you will
Remembering me is not going to cost you a bill
Remembering me wouldn't demand from you to climb a dangerous hill
Remember me because then I would forever be a memory inside your head
Remember me because I really really really want to remember you
Pensive
03-30-2009, 07:57 AM
This must be THE definite good-bye message. Because of the length of it, though, the (unintended?) message appears to be [I]Please, please don't forget me... It reads more like


Remember me as I hope you will
Remembering me is not going to cost you a bill
Remembering me wouldn't demand from you to climb a dangerous hill
Remember me because then I would forever be a memory inside your head
Remember me because I really really really want to remember you


:D

Yeah I know what you mean.
It's a bit contradictory.
Actually I am not even sure if I would like to be forgotten so it's more meant to be ironic as the poem is directed to somebody you aren't even sure has any place in his memories for you. Don't know how much I have succeeded in putting the real meaning across of every phrase over here. But am glad that you get and appreciate the overall sense. :)
PrinceMyshkin
03-30-2009, 08:12 AM
:D

Yeah I know what you mean.
It's a bit contradictory.
Actually I am not even sure if I would like to be forgotten so it's more meant to be ironic as the poem is directed to somebody you aren't even sure has any place in his memories for you. Don't know how much I have succeeded in putting the real meaning across of every phrase over here. But am glad that you get and appreciate the overall sense. :)

Ugh, my deepest sympathies! There can be few things more frustrating than trying to tell someone how much they missed by rejecting or worse not even taking notice of you.
a_little_wisp
03-30-2009, 07:23 PM
Oh Pensive. This is beautiful, and you did succeed in capturing that grapple of the human mind - which, when in grief, isn't fixed. This is real, I promise. I had a deep crush on someone once, who was very romantic, but it flopped. It's hard, not knowing if you're going to be remembered by the someone that you will always, always remember.

And I had to say 'bye', and give up. And you're right, I couldn't say 'goodbye', could I? Because I had no idea whether we stopped talking on good or bad terms - but I certainly couldn't say 'good' bye. I guess I can only wish him well.


Forget me because then I wouldn't owe my memory inside your head
Forget me because I really really really want to forget you
skib
03-30-2009, 07:33 PM
Pensive, this reminds me of a poem Prince wrote a few days ago- and you seemed to speak my mind just as he did. To me, it seems to say 'Either make more room in your life for me, or forget me.'
This is a very beautiful poem. It grabbed my heart as well as my attention. Well spoken.
SleepyWitch
03-31-2009, 03:10 AM
I like "Don't search for it in the jingling of keys" because this line shows how we often associate totally random mundane things with someone we like.
Lokasenna
03-31-2009, 03:33 AM
Its very conflicted, but that's all part of its charm. Very enjoyable!
Sapphire
04-02-2009, 05:46 AM
I never thought about "goodbye" this way, but I guess I'll be watching my words a bit closer next time.

It is a moving poem.

Thank you for sharing,
Sapphire.
Scheherazade
04-02-2009, 05:52 AM
I like the poem Pensive but it feels more like song lyrics to me (this is not a criticism).

Having kind of an inkling why this poem was written, I say consider this a draft and come back to it after couple of months :)
I like "Don't search for it in the jingling of keys" because this line shows how we often associate totally random mundane things with someone we like.I like that line, too, Sleepy.

Reminds me of these:
Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle in your head
from "Windmills of Your Mind", which is one of my favorite songs: http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/folk-song-lyrics/Windmills_of_Your_Mind.htm
ampoule
04-02-2009, 07:59 AM
Very moving and beautiful Pensive.