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atiguhya padma
04-04-2005, 01:08 PM
On the Ouse, the Monnow and the Uck,
Are there those that hear this refined sound
This language of the flow of air on the surface of water?
Does this union of force, this junction
Of substance speak to those that stroll
Along the banks of black, cold water?

The Thames flows onward to the steel gates
That the city hopes will save the future
From inundations of terrific power.
We don’t like to see the arrogance,
The pride, the fearsomeness of nature.
In these city streets only the sound
Of commerce is sanctified.

Snow hardly falls here anymore.
The winters are drier than before,
Sure rain falls, but it’s a feeble rain
A perspiring precipitation. (They say
We'll have another drought this summer).
I walk along the embankment
And wonder about the icebergs
The polar bears, the indigenous peoples,
And all their confused and ambiguous
Hopes and fears.

Yesterday was such a lovely warm
Spring day. The air was still. The sun
Was mildly welcoming. The same sun
That laid waste 15,000 lives across
The channel, only a year or two ago.

It is strange to me. I found an underground
Poster advertising all the companies
That had invested in reducing carbon emissions.
Its amazing what we will do, making profit from
Saving ourselves.

Still, those other island people, look into a future
That is nearer the seabed than the seashore.
And the water will lie everywhere for them,
It will cover their world. I just walk by a river,
Through a city that never stops, alongside
A concrete Victorian embankment,
Through which this island country slowly created a dream
Of a world that will soon conquer our world.

On the rubbled shoreline, the green covered stones
Reveal a multi-coloured sheen of some forgotten oil.

RightHand
04-07-2005, 01:09 AM
I enjoyed your work. Thanks for sharing

amuse
04-07-2005, 09:22 AM
you wrote the perfect ending for this poem, AP. it's like a sentence at the end of a great book that wraps the story up and delivers its essence in one last line.

these pieces were my favorites. very enjoyable...btw, when i saw the title, for some reason it sounded familiar, and pictures arose in my head; as though some level you'd written this before. so i was rather eager to read this.

We don’t like to see the arrogance,
The pride, the fearsomeness of nature.

...(They say
We'll have another drought this summer).
I walk along the embankment
And wonder about the icebergs
The polar bears, the indigenous peoples,
And all their confused and ambiguous
Hopes and fears.

...The sun
Was mildly welcoming. The same sun
That laid waste 15,000 lives across
The channel, only a year or two ago.

.

Still, those other island people, look into a future
That is nearer the seabed than the seashore.
And the water will lie everywhere for them,
It will cover their world. I just walk by a river,
Through a city that never stops, alongside
A concrete Victorian embankment,
Through which this island country slowly created a dream
Of a world that will soon conquer our world.

On the rubbled shoreline, the green covered stones
Reveal a multi-coloured sheen of some forgotten oil.

atiguhya padma
04-07-2005, 10:49 AM
Thank you Amuse. Praise coming from the laureate of the forum is always something to feel good about.:)

atiguhya padma
04-07-2005, 10:50 AM
And thank you RightHand. I am glad you enjoyed it. :)

atiguhya padma
04-07-2005, 10:53 AM
Amuse,

I think I might have written something called A Walk to Gaddesden Church. Maybe this poem reminded you of that. (I do so like a good country - and city - stroll!:) )

Avalive
04-07-2005, 11:23 PM
Nice poem. I wrote a poem called "A walk along the Seine" like a year ago or so. But your poem is more meaty. Good job.

hemial
01-19-2006, 10:46 AM
I like it, atiguhya padma , really. As I already posted somewhere else in this forum, I am not yet completely familiar with the relevant and appropriate expressions to tell others what is so special with their poems or to place critics.

What I like most is the fact that it does not really rhyme and that the last words of each line show a different number of syllables. This makes your poem interesting to read. There are better words to describe this, however, I read about the style you are using. Well, as I said, lack in words.

I agree that the last two lines make a great finish to your poem. It's not the mere summary I see here, it's more the metaphores hidden in there which I personally interpret as a description of who walks along the Thames (or better: who lives there) and what the city is like: rubbled, green, multi-coloured, and (sometimes, when it comes to individuals) forgotten.

Keep up with what you're doing!

Greetings.