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a_little_wisp
03-24-2009, 05:29 PM
(Fairly long, wrote it about a year and a half ago.)

Tramp

Stripped bare by your filthy hands -
Did you not know I was a virgin
With only a taste of what was to come?
A kiss here, a touch there
Where none should have dared.
"Treat me gently," I begged,
But you were not one to listen,
To preoccupied, too caught up
With your own desires,
By the movement of your hands;
Only through your need was I visible -
Your heart did not see me,
Very few turn your head.

The first time, I resisted:
"I'm not a whore!" I screamed -
But chinked was my armor,
Torn my pride,
And off came my weathered ideals.
Wretchedly, I awoke in regret,
Pulled on and together
All I could gather and
Went out to find you again,
To prove that you
could
not
move
me.

I was stronger that that,
I am stronger than you.
And still, I did nothing -
All my charms were o'erthrown*
And mine own strength failed me
In my greatest hours of need -
And oh, god, how I needed you.

So I let you have me, again and again.

I began to see you for what you were,
You were -

Not filthy, nor fair,
Your fingertips, chilled as ice,
Your mind frozen against my winter,
And because I was cold,
Took and stole warmth
And never gave,
You cared not for what you took
And none cared for what was taken
From me -

You were all I ever asked for.

Though I'll admit -
I aimed high, gloriously high,
Without the wings nor wind to carry me.

Who knew I was this creature?
Pale and pathetic,
Now stripped, naked, nude -
And I could stop you,
I could drop dead now if I chose,
I could defy you, worse,
Ignore you as I've done before.

Ignore you...?
But that brings no pleasure -
Sitting glumly in a room,
My pale face lit with a dull glare of light,
Wasting away on websites
And dim dreams, my window closed
Against your light,
Wondering
And waiting for you to
Want me.

Oh World.

Oh World, a cruel place you are,
A crueler lover,
Spinning without a mind to me,
While I pine to be a part of your every plane,
Crevice, dip, and line,
Indulging in the taste of freedom -

I'm afraid I must fight you now,
I cannot resist you, ignore you,
Nor give myself up completely to you-
For I know even now,
Used and wasted, my title is
"Tramp" - and no one knows me anymore -
I know, at least, that I must fight you,
And I'll try you, again and again,
Until your fingertips are burning for me,
And every molecule of me is searingly
Insistent
To be a part of you.

Some will see me then,
May want me then,
But I'll have none but you
In my sight
And crave you ever more.

Though I am cold right now,
And your fingertips make me shiver and sob -
Where this is more like rape
And I am more a victim -
One day I will be stripped,
I will be sweating,
Never satiated...

Soaring.


*William Shakespeare, The Tempest "Prospero's Speech"

PrinceMyshkin
03-24-2009, 06:04 PM
Oh, my dear, dear friend... this was almost too painful to read. But what a courageous effort to lay yourself (pun intended!) bare, to spare yourself nothing... but rather to be far, far harsher on yourself than any but the most heartless could possibly be.

kevinthediltz
03-24-2009, 09:32 PM
God that was beautiful. It hurt my heart to read it but god...
Just amazing.

a_little_wisp
03-24-2009, 10:17 PM
Awe, Prince, Kevin! It's not supposed to be entirely sad and heartbreaking! The world's a rough place to live in- harder still, to conquer. I thought the ending was rather hopeful, myself. :D

Thank you for reading, both of you! You're all great. :D

Lokasenna
03-25-2009, 06:15 AM
That was utterly captivating - it actually brought tears to my eyes. Well done indeed! I only hope for your sake that the pain of writing it did not reflect the pain it exudes.

Pensive
03-25-2009, 06:22 AM
Painful, really painful.
But very well-written! It moved me so much, and I loved being moved because what's poetry that doesn't move you?

a_little_wisp
03-25-2009, 02:59 PM
Lokasenna, thank you for your lovely comment - ahh, I'm sorry it brought tears to your eyes! The ending was happier, though, yes? I don't quite remember the day I wrote it, but I still have the draft of it on torn and crumbled notebook paper - I think I wrote it in class, and yes, I think I was hurting. However, I wrote it, not to hurt myself further - as a reminder of the pain - but rather to let it out, to heal myself through a hopeful ending. Writing is a healing balm for me. Thank you so much for reading!

Pensive- you're right! I'm glad you were moved! That should be one of the primary intentions of most forms of literature - to transport you to somewhere else, to make you feel something you've never felt before. That's why I love this place - there are so many experiences, so many different feelings in everyone's words. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, dear!

Lokasenna
03-26-2009, 05:35 AM
Oh yes, the ending was a liberation, but nonetheless it felt greatly informed by the powerful emotions that proceeded it. Perhaps I was just in a melancholic mind at the time I read it...

PrinceMyshkin
03-27-2009, 07:00 PM
'Scuse me for bumping this but it deserves more readings than it has had so far.

skib
03-28-2009, 01:08 AM
Wisp, I read it, and I have nothing more to say than AMAZING.

a_little_wisp
03-31-2009, 03:15 AM
Thank ya, skib!! I love your poetry too! :D :D

And thank you, Prince! You're a sweetie! But I guess it is a bit too long for a quick pleasure read. S'alright though!