Simo
03-23-2009, 08:22 PM
by Paul Perin-Symons
I caught up with some old mates the other day, and we got to talking about the things we used to get up to.
Davo was a character; he could never resist a dare. It was his downfall in the end.
I remember one stinking hot day we were all down at the Cross & Lion having a drink, and being such a hot day they had a fan on the end of the bar.
Glen dared Davo to stick his finger in the fan, and without a moments hesitation Dave jumped up on a bar stool, dropped his dacks, and shoved his old-fella straight into the blades, (blllller).
Oh and how we laughed. It made me think of what his poor mother must have gone through. (blllller) “Dave! Don’t stick your p***s in the fan” she’d yell, (reeoow - blllller), “or the cat”.
And Glen used to get us into a bit of trouble now and then. He just loved a fight.
He had this trick he used to show us, (when the mood took him), in which he could insert a mans head through the side of a vending machine with such dexterous precision, that it could only be removed, (once the proper authorities arrived) by severing it, mashing it up with some eighth inch rod, and hosing it out through the little holes in the bottom.
His dad was the same, just loved a fight. It ran in the family. It was said that his great, great, grandfather was the first man to use those now immortal words, “oy, what ye be looking at”.
I remember when we were kids, we used to sell papers, and one day we walked into the Bridge & Garff on Old Bonty Road, just in time to see Glens dad simultaneously impale three men on a cue stick. And then without batting an eyelid, he reached around them; chalked his cue and continued with his much rudely interrupted shot. And how we laughed.
And I remember another time we were down at the railway sidings to do a deal with a few of the Rosarta boys.
Richie found a bucket of iron filelings somewhere, and he dared Davo that he couldn’t inhale the lot in only one breath.
And of course Davo being Davo had to give it a whirl. He was three quarters into it when Glen walks up and farted right on his head, saying, “here’s a kiss for you sweet heart”.
Dave looked up at me, started laughing, choked, and f***en died. The selfish barstard!
‘Cause he knew I had four grand on him (at five to one) with the Rosartas that he could do it.
His wife Betty was pretty pised off about it all. I mean those two were just made for each other.
She told me once that he proposed as soon as he found out that she could (on cue), fart the first ten bars of the national anthem.
The funeral was a good fun but. We cooked him up and all tucked in, ‘cause we knew that’s how he would have wanted it.
Oh, and how we laughed.
END
Copyright Paul Perin-Symons
I caught up with some old mates the other day, and we got to talking about the things we used to get up to.
Davo was a character; he could never resist a dare. It was his downfall in the end.
I remember one stinking hot day we were all down at the Cross & Lion having a drink, and being such a hot day they had a fan on the end of the bar.
Glen dared Davo to stick his finger in the fan, and without a moments hesitation Dave jumped up on a bar stool, dropped his dacks, and shoved his old-fella straight into the blades, (blllller).
Oh and how we laughed. It made me think of what his poor mother must have gone through. (blllller) “Dave! Don’t stick your p***s in the fan” she’d yell, (reeoow - blllller), “or the cat”.
And Glen used to get us into a bit of trouble now and then. He just loved a fight.
He had this trick he used to show us, (when the mood took him), in which he could insert a mans head through the side of a vending machine with such dexterous precision, that it could only be removed, (once the proper authorities arrived) by severing it, mashing it up with some eighth inch rod, and hosing it out through the little holes in the bottom.
His dad was the same, just loved a fight. It ran in the family. It was said that his great, great, grandfather was the first man to use those now immortal words, “oy, what ye be looking at”.
I remember when we were kids, we used to sell papers, and one day we walked into the Bridge & Garff on Old Bonty Road, just in time to see Glens dad simultaneously impale three men on a cue stick. And then without batting an eyelid, he reached around them; chalked his cue and continued with his much rudely interrupted shot. And how we laughed.
And I remember another time we were down at the railway sidings to do a deal with a few of the Rosarta boys.
Richie found a bucket of iron filelings somewhere, and he dared Davo that he couldn’t inhale the lot in only one breath.
And of course Davo being Davo had to give it a whirl. He was three quarters into it when Glen walks up and farted right on his head, saying, “here’s a kiss for you sweet heart”.
Dave looked up at me, started laughing, choked, and f***en died. The selfish barstard!
‘Cause he knew I had four grand on him (at five to one) with the Rosartas that he could do it.
His wife Betty was pretty pised off about it all. I mean those two were just made for each other.
She told me once that he proposed as soon as he found out that she could (on cue), fart the first ten bars of the national anthem.
The funeral was a good fun but. We cooked him up and all tucked in, ‘cause we knew that’s how he would have wanted it.
Oh, and how we laughed.
END
Copyright Paul Perin-Symons