Skating under the influence of youth (under construction)

[Silas Thorne]

Just some ideas I've been working on. Tell me what you think:


I want a skateboard mind of youth
to fly freestyle through open windows
into the new age strange,
it's pixellated vibrance
scattering hues on bare white patches
colouring me in.

My heroes could be masters of online battles
where nobody dies, but everyone
gets RSI,
or I could be a kungfu master of textology
my fingers hardened flat by tapping
the metal held in my palm,
a thousand times a day...

but I was Seeded too soon
my Spacies training unable to Counterstrike your advances,
my hardware, mostly 80s
looks frantically for the right software
while its download options are limited,
my iron finger training too slow,
like a zombie pianist
trying to play the Minute Waltz.
I hang Beethoven and Muse around my neck
wondering how they got there
and what to do with the other gigs they play in.

[kevinthediltz]

I liked this silas. A description of the youth of today. Perhaps you would like some of this youth back?

[~Sophia~]

Ah Silas... Even though I rollerblade now instead of roller skate, a big part of me wishes the "peace, love, groovy" of the late 60's early 70' would make a come-back. I know it's not likely to happen but - a girl can dream. Thanks for bringing my head around to this millennium (I think LOL)! Vivid and good!

[Silas Thorne]

I liked this silas. A description of the youth of today. Perhaps you would like some of this youth back?

:lol:Yes, I would. Please give me your soul. After I devour it, the wrinkles and frown lines on my face will disappear almost instantly !

No seriously, is it any good as a poem, and not just due to its topic? :)

[a_little_wisp]

I think, it is VERY good as a poem. I love the fast-paced, vibrant language that complements the subject matter - the phrasing is well-balanced and flows smoothly.

My gamer-brain would like to you give a :thumbs_up: for a job well-done. Beethoven and Muse- what excellent taste in music you have, my friend! :D Now let's all go listen to 'Butterflies and Hurricanes' and try to save the world! When we fail, we can listen to Beethoven's 'Appassionata'.

Really, Silas, this is excellent. Your colorful personality shows right through, as well as your talent with poetry.

[kevinthediltz]

Yes, I thought it was great. I love the way you use imagery to say something when you could have just as easily said: pushing buttons on a cellphone. Something I wish I could do alot better.
I believe it is what makes a great poem.

[Silas Thorne]

Thanks a lot guys! :) I'm so happy you young 'uns got what I was aiming at, and your praise means a lot to me. I wanted to keep it with the times - well, as much as I can! ;)

[ampoule]

Just some ideas I've been working on. Tell me what you think:


I want a skateboard mind of youth
to fly freestyle through open windows
into the new age strange,
it's pixellated vibrance
scattering hues on bare white patches
colouring me in.

I especially like this verse....that whole 'colouring me in' thing is so cool. Actually, I didn't want to move away from this verse. There were so many visuals, I wanted to stay there watching.

[Silas Thorne]

Actually, I had the idea of the white spaces in a child's colouring in entry form, but filled in with pretty pixellated goodness. ;)