user#1
03-12-2009, 11:28 PM
Hey, I'm 14 years old and we had to write a short story for language arts class.
I chose to write my story from the point of view of a boy who's father is the dictator of a country being invaded by the US and England. Because his father is constantly busy, the boy is often sent to live with his mother. Remember, the reader of the passage is unaware of the plot, except for what is found in the passage. I have only written the first paragraph, but I believe that its well written and Im pretty proud of my work :D.
//Passage begins here, please excuse any spelling errors, I have not yet preformed a spell check
The thought of danger struck the boy's mind as he comprehended his surrounding. Dark figures seemed to be in motion in the background,
constantly moving further from the darkness and closer to the illuminated center of the yard. The frigid air and foggy horizon was not at all
contributing to deplete the boy's growing anxiety, and neither did the sudden explosion in the distance. The sound and heat soon followed.
It felt to the boy as if he had been standing beneath the scorching hot sun at his father's private beach house, but this comfortable illusion was
soon interrupted by the whizzing sound of hot shrapnel being propelled past the boy's head. When the boy's distortion finally came to an end,
the terrifying reality set in. The long awaited invasion had begun......(story continues)
//Passage ends
Please comment, thanks lol.
And remember, don't be to cruel, im only 14 :D
I chose to write my story from the point of view of a boy who's father is the dictator of a country being invaded by the US and England. Because his father is constantly busy, the boy is often sent to live with his mother. Remember, the reader of the passage is unaware of the plot, except for what is found in the passage. I have only written the first paragraph, but I believe that its well written and Im pretty proud of my work :D.
//Passage begins here, please excuse any spelling errors, I have not yet preformed a spell check
The thought of danger struck the boy's mind as he comprehended his surrounding. Dark figures seemed to be in motion in the background,
constantly moving further from the darkness and closer to the illuminated center of the yard. The frigid air and foggy horizon was not at all
contributing to deplete the boy's growing anxiety, and neither did the sudden explosion in the distance. The sound and heat soon followed.
It felt to the boy as if he had been standing beneath the scorching hot sun at his father's private beach house, but this comfortable illusion was
soon interrupted by the whizzing sound of hot shrapnel being propelled past the boy's head. When the boy's distortion finally came to an end,
the terrifying reality set in. The long awaited invasion had begun......(story continues)
//Passage ends
Please comment, thanks lol.
And remember, don't be to cruel, im only 14 :D