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PrinceMyshkin
03-10-2009, 08:45 PM
If I could talk with you
I think I’d never stop
but, unfortunately,
I only truly exist
in that small space
between talking
and not.
Delta40
03-10-2009, 09:29 PM
the breath between an non-utterance and a quibble. Wonderful.
Virgil
03-10-2009, 10:47 PM
Yes, very good. I dig that existence in that small space metaphor. And the rhyme stop/not really nails the ending. :)
kiz_paws
03-10-2009, 11:04 PM
Witty perfection. :)
a_little_wisp
03-11-2009, 12:19 AM
Oh, Prince.

Lovely :) and bittersweet.:(
Lokasenna
03-11-2009, 04:05 AM
Pithy and eloquent - not a word wasted!
PrinceMyshkin
03-11-2009, 08:15 AM
Many thanks, Delta, Virgil, Kiz, Lokasenna and little itty-bitty Wisp.
asthaoo
03-11-2009, 02:31 PM
This... made me really sad. In a good way, but sad nonetheless. Helpless, too. Sad and helpless.
Wonderful :)
PrinceMyshkin
03-11-2009, 02:44 PM
This... made me really sad. In a good way, but sad nonetheless. Helpless, too. Sad and helpless.
Wonderful :)

Of course I can't account for how you read it, but I didn't feel sad in writing it. It was, for me, a neutral sort of observation, a truth I was confronting about myself. On the other hand there is an element of self-depreciation in it, inasmuch as I'm so hooked on talking but recognize that no amount of it, so far, has assuaged a deep loneliness. Thanks very much for your comment.
qimissung
03-11-2009, 04:41 PM
I like it. You can write more with fewer words than anyone. Anyway, this reminds me of a short story I read once, and well, I was inspired to write my own (thank you!)
PrinceMyshkin
03-11-2009, 04:49 PM
I like it. You can write more with fewer words than anyone. Anyway, this reminds me of a short story I read once, and well, I was inspired to write my own (thank you!)

That is SO welcome to me because I read many of the very fine poems here by others, fully fleshed out, and I worry at times that my poems are too short, that they're incomplete, even though I've said everything that feels relevant to me, and I'm happy when I don't underline things or try to draw a moral...

But what became of that story you were inspired to write?
The Walker
03-14-2009, 03:16 PM
lovely! great poem prince.
PrinceMyshkin
03-14-2009, 03:39 PM
lovely! great poem prince.

Many thanks, Walker,,,