Ace
03-10-2009, 11:42 AM
They say I got an IQ of one eight seven
Sure it ain't true but I ain't gonna tell them
Let them think I'm smarter than the rest
That I'm better than just good, that I'm better than the best
But whatever, I don't care about what others think
Well that ain't true neither, I guess that makes me a fink
Just lying, trying to sound tougher than I am
But it's hard to do when I mumble like I Am Sam
But it's not cause I'm deaf, blind and dumb
I know when it comes to trust that I'm the only one
I'd trust to save my life, not even the cops
Can erase my fear of getting beat up and dropped
So I worked out, took my licks in 'ball
They'd all say “For one short **** you tough as **** Paul”
It drove me, made me work harder and harder
But it's not like with my smarts that I even can barter
To make me better, make me faster and stronger
I had to give up, my body couldn't take it any longer
Nah, that ain't true, my school kicked me out
For wanting to die, wanting to scream out and shout
They said it scared the other kids, made them think I was crazy
And when they looked at my grades they just said I was lazy
“Whatchu wanna do with your life? You're throwing it away”
“Yeah, well **** you too, I don't know what to say”
I got dropped off by an ambulance at the hospital
I felt like there wasn't any further that I could fall
And that's true, I definitely wouldn't lie about that
And I wouldn't lie 'bout how I dropped seventeen pounds of fat
In just 3 simple weeks, it was the best diet plan
Just eat hospital food, work out and act like a man
I got out, lean and mean with a streak of happiness
Maybe it was the meds, maybe it was the rest
For the first time in years I slept more than 3 hours a night
For the first time ever it was fight instead of flight
I worked hard to be happy, but it didn't seem to work
So I threw out the pills and started feeling like a jerk
I didn't care, I was used to it for seventeen years
And taking those meds didn't wipe away old tears
It was stupid, is was dumb, what the **** was I thinking?
That's what my parents said, and the shrink an'
All the few friends I had, maybe the one or two
So I smoked to not be alone and it made me feel like new
I met a few new people, bonded by the weed
But I knew for sure that it wasn't a need
It was what I liked, what I wanted to do
And though you think I'm lying, I swear that it is true
I didn't wanna smoke all day, everyday but I did
It's not like I even drank, did cocaine or acid
Alcohol is horrible, losing all inhibitions
When I smoked weed I had more control than my sober friends did
Sure I've made mistakes, and I'll admit that smoking was one of them
But what did I care? I was high taking out the seeds and stems
I started smoking 2 blunts a day, I go big or go home
And the mids I was smoking all day left me stoned
I felt social, able to talk to kids my age and make them laugh
Without looking like a lunatic or looking like it was an act
But it was, it was all just one big show
Showing off my stupidity, how only I didn't know
That I looked like an ***, I should have been using my smarts
Rather than smoke pot to make a new start
I met a girl and I immediately liked her
High in the backseat of a car, she said “Wanna talk?” and I said “Sure”
She added me on myspace, and we talked on hours end
And I knew from the start we would be more than just friends
And I was right, I never had been before about those things
I'd never had a true girlfriend, only had one ****ed up fling
She said she didn't me smoking much, so I cut back for a few months
Till I dropped out of college for anxiety, I felt like a dunce
Back to smoking more than 2 times a day all by myself
I wish I could just put that bubbler back on the shelf
I needed to speed up time, till the next time I was with my girl
Every time she left me alone it made my stomach wanna hurl
Cause I already missed her, and felt lonely as all Hell
So I took out my bag, lit up my bong and mellowed out
But I couldn't handle it, it wasn't good enough for me
And I didn't want nothing else, no molly or ecstasy
So I asked for a new drug, something to keep me balanced
Something to keep me calm and to continue with the silence
Cause when I got angry, I got pissed and freaked far out
I would punch, I would run, after I would break down and pout
And call myself a *****, a little fag that couldn't pull weight
And I felt it was true, so why the **** would I not say it?
I stopped smoking and I seemed to lose all friends
I had one friend far away and the girl I thought I'd be with till the end
I was wrong, it seemed I scared her away from me
She said she was too young and too immature to be
So committed, with someone she loved so much
I understood so well, but I didn't want to lose touch
And she said she didn't want to see me till at least after the prom
Which reminded me of how I wanted that slow dance
With her, only her, just the girl that I loved
I drove home, and in my mind I pushed in shoved
With no one to talk to, I messaged anyone I thought would listen
Through the phone and internet none of them could see my eyes glistenin
I went through so much pain, but my meds made me not depressed
Not go crazy, completely insane and push myself over the edge
I'm tryin to be optimistic cause I've always been negative
And thinkin that way will never get my love back again
So I try to live, fill up my time with useful thoughts
And it works, I thought there was a better chance it would not
So I guess she broke up with me to help herself get better
But after a week I feel more stronger than ever
They say I got an IQ of one eight seven
And I'll ask God when I get to Heaven
“What's more important? Being smart or being strong?”
“If you were any smart, you'd know it's being right rather than wrong”
Sure it ain't true but I ain't gonna tell them
Let them think I'm smarter than the rest
That I'm better than just good, that I'm better than the best
But whatever, I don't care about what others think
Well that ain't true neither, I guess that makes me a fink
Just lying, trying to sound tougher than I am
But it's hard to do when I mumble like I Am Sam
But it's not cause I'm deaf, blind and dumb
I know when it comes to trust that I'm the only one
I'd trust to save my life, not even the cops
Can erase my fear of getting beat up and dropped
So I worked out, took my licks in 'ball
They'd all say “For one short **** you tough as **** Paul”
It drove me, made me work harder and harder
But it's not like with my smarts that I even can barter
To make me better, make me faster and stronger
I had to give up, my body couldn't take it any longer
Nah, that ain't true, my school kicked me out
For wanting to die, wanting to scream out and shout
They said it scared the other kids, made them think I was crazy
And when they looked at my grades they just said I was lazy
“Whatchu wanna do with your life? You're throwing it away”
“Yeah, well **** you too, I don't know what to say”
I got dropped off by an ambulance at the hospital
I felt like there wasn't any further that I could fall
And that's true, I definitely wouldn't lie about that
And I wouldn't lie 'bout how I dropped seventeen pounds of fat
In just 3 simple weeks, it was the best diet plan
Just eat hospital food, work out and act like a man
I got out, lean and mean with a streak of happiness
Maybe it was the meds, maybe it was the rest
For the first time in years I slept more than 3 hours a night
For the first time ever it was fight instead of flight
I worked hard to be happy, but it didn't seem to work
So I threw out the pills and started feeling like a jerk
I didn't care, I was used to it for seventeen years
And taking those meds didn't wipe away old tears
It was stupid, is was dumb, what the **** was I thinking?
That's what my parents said, and the shrink an'
All the few friends I had, maybe the one or two
So I smoked to not be alone and it made me feel like new
I met a few new people, bonded by the weed
But I knew for sure that it wasn't a need
It was what I liked, what I wanted to do
And though you think I'm lying, I swear that it is true
I didn't wanna smoke all day, everyday but I did
It's not like I even drank, did cocaine or acid
Alcohol is horrible, losing all inhibitions
When I smoked weed I had more control than my sober friends did
Sure I've made mistakes, and I'll admit that smoking was one of them
But what did I care? I was high taking out the seeds and stems
I started smoking 2 blunts a day, I go big or go home
And the mids I was smoking all day left me stoned
I felt social, able to talk to kids my age and make them laugh
Without looking like a lunatic or looking like it was an act
But it was, it was all just one big show
Showing off my stupidity, how only I didn't know
That I looked like an ***, I should have been using my smarts
Rather than smoke pot to make a new start
I met a girl and I immediately liked her
High in the backseat of a car, she said “Wanna talk?” and I said “Sure”
She added me on myspace, and we talked on hours end
And I knew from the start we would be more than just friends
And I was right, I never had been before about those things
I'd never had a true girlfriend, only had one ****ed up fling
She said she didn't me smoking much, so I cut back for a few months
Till I dropped out of college for anxiety, I felt like a dunce
Back to smoking more than 2 times a day all by myself
I wish I could just put that bubbler back on the shelf
I needed to speed up time, till the next time I was with my girl
Every time she left me alone it made my stomach wanna hurl
Cause I already missed her, and felt lonely as all Hell
So I took out my bag, lit up my bong and mellowed out
But I couldn't handle it, it wasn't good enough for me
And I didn't want nothing else, no molly or ecstasy
So I asked for a new drug, something to keep me balanced
Something to keep me calm and to continue with the silence
Cause when I got angry, I got pissed and freaked far out
I would punch, I would run, after I would break down and pout
And call myself a *****, a little fag that couldn't pull weight
And I felt it was true, so why the **** would I not say it?
I stopped smoking and I seemed to lose all friends
I had one friend far away and the girl I thought I'd be with till the end
I was wrong, it seemed I scared her away from me
She said she was too young and too immature to be
So committed, with someone she loved so much
I understood so well, but I didn't want to lose touch
And she said she didn't want to see me till at least after the prom
Which reminded me of how I wanted that slow dance
With her, only her, just the girl that I loved
I drove home, and in my mind I pushed in shoved
With no one to talk to, I messaged anyone I thought would listen
Through the phone and internet none of them could see my eyes glistenin
I went through so much pain, but my meds made me not depressed
Not go crazy, completely insane and push myself over the edge
I'm tryin to be optimistic cause I've always been negative
And thinkin that way will never get my love back again
So I try to live, fill up my time with useful thoughts
And it works, I thought there was a better chance it would not
So I guess she broke up with me to help herself get better
But after a week I feel more stronger than ever
They say I got an IQ of one eight seven
And I'll ask God when I get to Heaven
“What's more important? Being smart or being strong?”
“If you were any smart, you'd know it's being right rather than wrong”