Rob Fusion
03-09-2009, 07:24 PM
Rob Graziano
One might say that when you wake in the morning you can tell what type of day it will be. I believe whole heartedly that that statement is perfectly correct. Before I went to sleep that night I knew I did not want to wake the next day, and when I did awake, to no surprise I wanted to sleep the day away or somehow just glide through the upcoming events.
I inform you the reader that nothing extravagant happened on this rainy day, but a series of mildly unfortunate events. I wish I could say I woke to a silent morning with the sun shining dimly into my room, but if I did awake to that, I wouldn’t have this to write. However, I did awake to my two year old brother squabbling the sentence “Duh Da, you go to Doctor.” Thanks you little cretin, I didn’t know I had to go. Without your profound knowledge, how would I of known some creepy old guy was going to touch my sack. That however, was not the worst of it all.
Now awakened by my brother, I concurred with great contemplation I would arise from my bed and walk over to my closet. . . . I’m just kidding, I’m not even sure it was clothes I picked out from my closet. With the now sad heap of clothing lying scrambled in my arms I started the trek upstairs with the bubbly little boy leading the way. Atop the stairs, was a morning no better then the one experienced downstairs.
“GOOD MORNING!” Oh right, I thought to myself, I forgot she was here too. Every so often my grandmother from Staten Island decides it would be great to have family intervention. She’s also the grandma that decided she needed a forty-seven inch LCD T.V. for her birthday so she could watch black and white movies, she’s also the grandmother who still thinks red turtle neck sweat shirts are in style, apparently I still enjoy barney too.
Trying to combat her bombastic greeting, I replied weakly with a “good morning, getting in the shower.” Although I responded, she understood that in no way or form was I going to engage into a conversation. It’s not often a seventeen year old at 6 in the morning talks to anyone, let alone their mentally deranged 80 year old grandmother.
I apologize, that was mean. She has a wonderful complexion of skin and dust.
Anyway, to summarize the next part of my morning I took a shower then got out, got dressed and attempted to make breakfast. However, because it was such a wonderful day while I was making a toasted waffle my wonderful replacement of a father told me that for the first time in four years my fat excuse of a dog needed to be walked. Normally we opened the door and she would go the corner of the yard and leave her business, but because he’s such a wonderful appeasing human being, I had the task of walking the dog, thanks.
I lack the enthusiasm to describe the other half of my morning, so I will skip ahead to the trip to the doctor. As it is the end of February, lacrosse season starts in a week so I need a physical. I think their ridiculous and a waste of time; however the state of New Jersey has different thoughts. So I went to a new doctor for the first time, and contrary to popular belief, my doctor was an old pervert. I knew when I awoke this morning things would of sucked, but nothing prepared me for what was about to happen.
I sat in the waiting room with my grandmother and mom, and because it was a pediatric doctor’s office it had all those lame pictures of little kids with their overly exuberant smiles holding some sort of sport’s equipment. My grandmother also dually noted that there were no toys even though it was a pediatric office. Her comment was of no shock to me, if there were toys I would have expected her to punt the children playing with them just so she could enjoy herself.
After about a twenty minute wait even though we were in an empty office I was called into the creep’s office. Joyous thoughts ran through my head, what better then to be shamed by an old man. I entered the office, got my weight, height, ear’s checked, the whole nine yards, it was all perfect to be short and precise.
The next part however was where my day took a left turn into hell. “Alright Robert, take off your pants and shirt” Now, if this were said to me in public in front of a group of people I’d of done it, but because I’m in a room with the door closed, and a creepy old guy just waiting to touch me, I was a tad skeptical. At my old office the doctor merely felt my abdomen to feel if I had anything wrong down below, however this doctor wanted the whole show. I then asked him in a perturbed manner “My old doctor just felt my stomach,” in which he replied “Your old doctor sucked.” Now inside my head I was thinking, he sucked and you want to suck. You can see my predicament. No man touches my balls, regardless of circumstances. I however finally heeded his wishes and to an even more astonishing request got on the table and lay down with just my boxers on.
Oh, this was turning out to be a hell of a day. Needless to say in the end after getting violated, my blood pressure was checked. Now take this into consideration, you have to go to the doctors office, usually your not tranquil because of that, then when you get there, your asked to strip down, usually you should take someone’s blood pressure before you touch their sack, especially if its man to man contact. No wonder my blood pressure was elevated Doc, it doesn’t take a ****ing genius to figure that after you touch my sack I’m a little agitated. Also, thanks for failing my physical so I can’t play lacrosse, I hope you went home and got off to my junk. I could see wood working as being your retirement profession.
One might say that when you wake in the morning you can tell what type of day it will be. I believe whole heartedly that that statement is perfectly correct. Before I went to sleep that night I knew I did not want to wake the next day, and when I did awake, to no surprise I wanted to sleep the day away or somehow just glide through the upcoming events.
I inform you the reader that nothing extravagant happened on this rainy day, but a series of mildly unfortunate events. I wish I could say I woke to a silent morning with the sun shining dimly into my room, but if I did awake to that, I wouldn’t have this to write. However, I did awake to my two year old brother squabbling the sentence “Duh Da, you go to Doctor.” Thanks you little cretin, I didn’t know I had to go. Without your profound knowledge, how would I of known some creepy old guy was going to touch my sack. That however, was not the worst of it all.
Now awakened by my brother, I concurred with great contemplation I would arise from my bed and walk over to my closet. . . . I’m just kidding, I’m not even sure it was clothes I picked out from my closet. With the now sad heap of clothing lying scrambled in my arms I started the trek upstairs with the bubbly little boy leading the way. Atop the stairs, was a morning no better then the one experienced downstairs.
“GOOD MORNING!” Oh right, I thought to myself, I forgot she was here too. Every so often my grandmother from Staten Island decides it would be great to have family intervention. She’s also the grandma that decided she needed a forty-seven inch LCD T.V. for her birthday so she could watch black and white movies, she’s also the grandmother who still thinks red turtle neck sweat shirts are in style, apparently I still enjoy barney too.
Trying to combat her bombastic greeting, I replied weakly with a “good morning, getting in the shower.” Although I responded, she understood that in no way or form was I going to engage into a conversation. It’s not often a seventeen year old at 6 in the morning talks to anyone, let alone their mentally deranged 80 year old grandmother.
I apologize, that was mean. She has a wonderful complexion of skin and dust.
Anyway, to summarize the next part of my morning I took a shower then got out, got dressed and attempted to make breakfast. However, because it was such a wonderful day while I was making a toasted waffle my wonderful replacement of a father told me that for the first time in four years my fat excuse of a dog needed to be walked. Normally we opened the door and she would go the corner of the yard and leave her business, but because he’s such a wonderful appeasing human being, I had the task of walking the dog, thanks.
I lack the enthusiasm to describe the other half of my morning, so I will skip ahead to the trip to the doctor. As it is the end of February, lacrosse season starts in a week so I need a physical. I think their ridiculous and a waste of time; however the state of New Jersey has different thoughts. So I went to a new doctor for the first time, and contrary to popular belief, my doctor was an old pervert. I knew when I awoke this morning things would of sucked, but nothing prepared me for what was about to happen.
I sat in the waiting room with my grandmother and mom, and because it was a pediatric doctor’s office it had all those lame pictures of little kids with their overly exuberant smiles holding some sort of sport’s equipment. My grandmother also dually noted that there were no toys even though it was a pediatric office. Her comment was of no shock to me, if there were toys I would have expected her to punt the children playing with them just so she could enjoy herself.
After about a twenty minute wait even though we were in an empty office I was called into the creep’s office. Joyous thoughts ran through my head, what better then to be shamed by an old man. I entered the office, got my weight, height, ear’s checked, the whole nine yards, it was all perfect to be short and precise.
The next part however was where my day took a left turn into hell. “Alright Robert, take off your pants and shirt” Now, if this were said to me in public in front of a group of people I’d of done it, but because I’m in a room with the door closed, and a creepy old guy just waiting to touch me, I was a tad skeptical. At my old office the doctor merely felt my abdomen to feel if I had anything wrong down below, however this doctor wanted the whole show. I then asked him in a perturbed manner “My old doctor just felt my stomach,” in which he replied “Your old doctor sucked.” Now inside my head I was thinking, he sucked and you want to suck. You can see my predicament. No man touches my balls, regardless of circumstances. I however finally heeded his wishes and to an even more astonishing request got on the table and lay down with just my boxers on.
Oh, this was turning out to be a hell of a day. Needless to say in the end after getting violated, my blood pressure was checked. Now take this into consideration, you have to go to the doctors office, usually your not tranquil because of that, then when you get there, your asked to strip down, usually you should take someone’s blood pressure before you touch their sack, especially if its man to man contact. No wonder my blood pressure was elevated Doc, it doesn’t take a ****ing genius to figure that after you touch my sack I’m a little agitated. Also, thanks for failing my physical so I can’t play lacrosse, I hope you went home and got off to my junk. I could see wood working as being your retirement profession.