Flora

[SilentRain]

This is my first post and I know it needs a lot of work.
The entire poem feels a bit too forced, not really sure....
All commentry and criticism is welcome!!

I wander worlds of concrete and steel
Metallic matter and grey masses twisted into dimensions called "buildings"
Slinking along narrow paths
I stumble upon flora patches of Flora
withered and long forgotten
My padded paws muffle the sound of her crumbling
I snuggle among the ashes of peony and crysanthemum
husks of grasses and leaves gather around in silent welcome

No one will remember her
her tears of dew, gowns of petals and tantrums of falling leaves
nevermore
Faeries flit above her groves and graves
trailing pollen dust and bitter blossoms which fall to the ground,
dirges without sound, making up for the chorus of rain
In her memory they sing

Whiff of catnip on the breeze
traces of her passing?
following the scent I race to the skies
finding beds of catnip with pillows of amaranth
here I stir the twilight sky

[PrinceMyshkin]

What I like best in this is the wealth of good, specific detail, and that lovely last line. The more of these you write, the better you will get.

[SilentRain]

Hi Prince, sorry for the late reply, kinda busy this week.

Thanks for the kind comments. This is my first post and I wasn't sure of how anyone would react to it.

Is there any part of the poem do you think I could put more work into?
I'm still rusty at my imagery methinks.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Hi Prince, sorry for the late reply, kinda busy this week.

Thanks for the kind comments. This is my first post and I wasn't sure of how anyone would react to it.

Is there any part of the poem do you think I could put more work into?
I'm still rusty at my imagery methinks.

No, I don't think any of this needs to be improved, but I confess to being unclear about the switch from the first person in the first verse, to the 3rd in the remainder of the poem; that is, who is the female referred to?

[SilentRain]

You saying that means a lot, I've always enjoyed your poems a lot

The "she" is flora, as in "flora and fauna", I thought it would interesting to use Flora to symbolize all the plants in a city

[PrinceMyshkin]

You saying that means a lot, I've always enjoyed your poems a lot

The "she" is flora, as in "flora and fauna", I thought it would interesting to use Flora to symbolize all the plants in a city

I think it might have clued me into that if you had capitalized Flora when you first refer to it/her in the second stanza.