PDA

View Full Version : just like before



spally
03-21-2005, 01:15 PM
how did we get this way
how did we drift apart
i wish we could go back
knowing what we know now
before we loved, before we hurt
this friendship used to mean a lot
i beleived when you said it wouldn't change
we've drifted so far apart
i don't think we'll make it back
we're too far a part, the tide has taken charge
i wonder why we talked as friends
but not a word as lovers
we talked about everything and anything
then there was just nothing
i'm sorry for my incolence
and my arrogence
but most of all i'm sorry for this loss
just lets go back to before
and be like friends again

mono
03-22-2005, 05:12 PM
Very nice, spally. Your use of casual language, and blunt phrases certainly communicates clearly the point of the poem to the reader, though I feel that the poem you directed to one particular person. I love also how you use a few metaphors, as in "the tide has taken charge," causing you to "drift apart."
Unless you use the poem as a song, I would recommend some punctuation, ensuring the reader where a question ends, and a statement begins, as in the first few lines.
Well done.:)

Helga
03-22-2005, 05:24 PM
this is very good, maybe because I just lost my best friend, we kinda drifted apart. Because of that I feel what you are saying, and you do so in a very good way...I really like it!