Separate paths

[Delta40]

I read your poem
Your dwindling light
I will never understand
Leaky love
penned by withered hand
Footprints
Which just don't fit
Into another's
Like some kid glove
I don't walk
In your song of lament
Different language
You got it wrong
Sorry for your travel
trouble

[~Sophia~]

Delta, I like this. I stopped here


I will never understand
Leaky love

and nodded yes! Well done!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Strong, like a truth that can only be blurted out, not refined, and with the implication of so much more that could - and wants to - be said.

[Delta40]

yes. splintered and contained.

[qimissung]

I liked "I don't walk in your song of lament Different language", and nodded. You like somebody, then realize you speak tow different languages, and never the twain shall meet.

[Virgil]

It's a nice poem. I liked these lines best:

Your dwindling light
I will never understand
I thought that metaphor was very interesting.

[firefangled]

I wish I had this poem of yours years ago. Very wise.

[Jerrybaldy]

That was powerfully written, words with real weight. If respect is possible in cyberspace, I have it for you. It's often especially moving to me when a poet, such as you did here, states his or her case boldly, without adornments or milking the conceit. A moving and graceful poem.

[Delta40]

Its a beautiful collection of words. And I'm left wondering why the boy is blushing and I probably ought to be.

[Jerrybaldy]

I wish I had this poem of yours years ago. Very wise.

[Delta40]

charming and metacognative as ever PM. Glad to see you haven't lost your edge over the past month, (it's the tipple that'll do it to you). I also appreciated the use of the feminine to represent us all, as opposed to the standard. Very sensitive and up to the times. You capture the images we all see when others think we are looking into space. It's actually inner space we are looking into, isn't it.

[Delta40]

Thanks for the feedback. I wrote this a while ago, when I was living in a little village on Kosrae, an island in Micronesia. I changed a few things based on some of the advice, I guess this one has a few personal allusions in it, referring to some observations I made about the village life, and one friend in particular. I have to keep the old coconuts line. Think about living in a place where one must be constantly weary of old coconuts, which can cause quite a bit of damage to your head, not to mention a car windshield. And I have to keep the last line too. I like it because it works both literally and figuratively. I changed cruelty to indifference, but I think I must change it back. Cruelty just fits better. (think of the difference between being lonely because you don't know anybody else or being lonely because the people you do know are cruel.) Maybe it's a it mediocre as it stands, but I like it anyhow. Thanks again for taking the time to read this and for your comments. I'm heading off to Atlanta for a week of visiting, and then moving to Manila. They've got an apartment for me, but not internet hook up as of yet, so I will probably not be on much for a few weeks. But don't think I've forgotten about you. : ) cheers! lal