Hillarious Idiocy

[1n50mn14]

This, should it succeed, is a thread dedicated to some of the most moronic, hillarious and horrifically dumb comments overhead at work, school, etc.

Let me begin: it is my Grade Ten Canadian History class. My teacher is trying to impress upon us a point about how things, no matter how small, change over the ages. She asks us, as a class, "What would be different about this classroom if it were one hundred years ago?"

A girl in my class, who shall remain nameless, and I admit- is a friend of mine- looks as though she is genuinely contemplating the answer. After a moment, her face brightens, and she raises her hand.

The teacher calls on her, to recieve the answer,

"OH! Oh! I know! Everything would be in black and white!"

*face-palm*

[Joreads]

We have a book at work called the ism book where we write stupied comments by staff members and we give out a monthly prize for the best one. I have actually made the book. I was asking a visitor if they would like a coffee, they said yes please a Flat White and I asked before thinking do you have milk.

We have all been there!!

[ClaesGefvenberg]

A little exchange I saw on national TV 25 - 30 years ago when we were about to vote about whether we were to keep our nuclear power plants or not. A reporter was asking people about their views on the matter:

Reporter: Should we use nuclear power?
Old lady: No! it is too dangerous.
Reporter: What about oil?
Old lady: No! too dirty
Reporter: Coal?
No! too dirty.
and so on... and on... and on...

Finally the slightly frustrated reporter asked: OK, What do you think we should use then?

Old lady: What's wrong with electricity? :sick:

/Claes

[Chava]

Overheard the girl behind me at the last international studies lecture:

"Which country is Africa in?"

I'm mortified.

[Emil Miller]

A little exchange I saw on national TV 25 - 30 years ago when we were about to vote about whether we were to keep our nuclear power plants or not. A reporter was asking people about their views on the matter:

Reporter: Should we use nuclear power?
Old lady: No! it is too dangerous.
Reporter: What about oil?
Old lady: No! too dirty
Reporter: Coal?
No! too dirty.
and so on... and on... and on...

Finally the slightly frustrated reporter asked: OK, What do you think we should use then?

Old lady: What's wrong with electricity? :sick:

/Claes

I really did laugh out loud at that one.

[Lokasenna]

I have a great friend called James (incidentally, if anyone watched last night's University Challenge, he was on the Corpus Christi team), who though very, very intelligent comes out with some of the bizzarest statements imaginable - we've even christened them Marsdenisms in his honour:

"The French are French!" - announced with great enthusiasm during a history lesson.

James: Apparently its now legal to jog in the nude in California.
Liz: Really? They actually passed a law like that?
James: I think it took a lot of fiddling to get that one through! - announced in a random politics lesson on American government.

"Brian, you know that academic you like? Well, he's dead!" - announced randomly in the middle of a group dinner, without any preamble, and much to Brian's bafflement.

And my personal favourite:
James: This document is obviously very old, certainly from the early 14th century. I'd say... 1322!
Me: 1322? That's rather specific - why do you say that?
James: (with great confidence) It sounds like a good year!

Oh boy, there are thousands. My friends and I are keeping a tally of them, so that if he ever gets famous we can publish them...:lol:

[1n50mn14]

:lol: Ohhh my... here's a good one:

At the local Dollar Store there is a cooler filled with drinks. There is a sign on the door of it saying, 'Please pay for drinks before consuming. Thank you for your collaboration.' Even worse, when I point it out to people, most of them don't understand why there is anything wrong with it.

[andave_ya]

:lol: Ohhh my... here's a good one:

At the local Dollar Store there is a cooler filled with drinks. There is a sign on the door of it saying, 'Please pay for drinks before consuming. Thank you for your collaboration.' Even worse, when I point it out to people, most of them don't understand why there is anything wrong with it.

:lol: :lol: :lol: that is BRILLIANT :p

I'm not sure if this is comic or tragic but for what it's worth...

I'm taking an acting class at the junior college. Our first assignment was to perform something that shows us who we are; what we're passionate about, what we love, etc.

So I chose to read a poem by Wilfred Owen, who died in WWI. The poem is intense; it basically tells the story of a soldier who dies in war and doesn't realize he's dead until he meets up with a soldier he had killed the day before. The poem ends with the second soldier inviting the first soldier to "let us sleep now..." rather eerily.

I finished reading and was making my way down the stage to rather hesitant applause. "Waitwaitwait a minute," the, note, the teacher said.. "I'm confused. Did [Wilfred Owen] kill the other guy? Was it his friend?"

Right. Wilfred Owen died, met a guy he killed, came back, and conveniently wrote a poem to commemorate the incident.

As if that wasn't bad enough :rolleyes:, the next class someone asked me what I did, again, and when she remembered the poem she said "Oh yeah. THAT one. That...that was really messed up."

Yeah. Yeah that really was :bawling:.

I consoled Wilfred Owen by patting him on the cover when I left. Poor thing; I really felt for him :p.

[Scheherazade]

We saw this one on one of the peanut packs given by airlines:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

[Niamh]

We saw this one on one of the peanut packs given by airlines:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

Thats on the Ryanair nuts isnt it? :D

[1n50mn14]

We saw this one on one of the peanut packs given by airlines:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

This reminds me of that series of silly labels from www.ebaumsworld.com, that include the poor translation on a Korean kitchen knife of,

'Warning, keep out of children!'

And, on the bottom of a box of dessert, 'Do not turn upside down.'

Oh, and the never to be forgotten warning on a Superman costume. 'Warning: wearing this costume does not enable you to fly.'

[papayahed]

This one I'm still trying to live down. My friends and I were playing some game, I can't remembe3r the name anymore but the object was one person would read a subject like type of nuts and the rest of the team would try to come up with all the names of nuts on the list in a certain time limit. Anyways, my team had "Ways to kill yourself" we had gone through all the usual stuff like shooting, pills, jumping off a bridge, etc.. as I was brainstorming I blurted out "Stoning". It was all good until someone asked me how a person could in fact stone themselves to death. erm... throw rocks in the air and stand under them??

[Lokasenna]

We saw this one on one of the peanut packs given by airlines:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

I remember noticing that sort of thing when I used to work in a shop. Stuff like a packet of salad having "suitable for vegetarians" on it, or a packet of firelighters saying "caution, flammable"

[a_little_wisp]

Oooh dear.

I'm going to embarrass myself here, because I still haven't lived it down. The incident occurred two semesters ago in my Lord of the Rings course (yes, it was fantastic), and I was bit distracted (I was doodling, daydreaming) - the discussion had strayed off course, I think - and someone mentioned Bill the Pony, and I made a little gurgling sound of delight (because I love horses).

And my wonderful professor goes: "Yes, Haleigh, what about Bill?"

And I reply, after a moment, without lifting my head from my (apparently very important) doodle: "...I love ponies!!!"

It wasn't until two seconds later when the class erupted into laughter that I realized how very much like a like an excited, distracted seven-year old I'd sounded.

I still get chortled at from my old classmates.

[PoeticPassions]

I think that most of these labels or warning signs are there for a reason... because some idiot put on a superman costume and tried to fly off of a roof... or someone sued an airline because they are allergic to nuts (and incidentally ate a bag of peanuts)... you always have to wonder why they would put such obvious and cautionary statements on things... because there is always some bright person who claims ignorance and ends up setting himself/herself on fire with firelighters!

[Niamh]

This one I'm still trying to live down. My friends and I were playing some game, I can't remembe3r the name anymore but the object was one person would read a subject like type of nuts and the rest of the team would try to come up with all the names of nuts on the list in a certain time limit. Anyways, my team had "Ways to kill yourself" we had gone through all the usual stuff like shooting, pills, jumping off a bridge, etc.. as I was brainstorming I blurted out "Stoning". It was all good until someone asked me how a person could in fact stone themselves to death. erm... throw rocks in the air and stand under them??

:lol::lol:
You should have said organised a rock fall to land on top of them! :p

[1n50mn14]

Oooh dear.

I'm going to embarrass myself here, because I still haven't lived it down. The incident occurred two semesters ago in my Lord of the Rings course (yes, it was fantastic), and I was bit distracted (I was doodling, daydreaming) - the discussion had strayed off course, I think - and someone mentioned Bill the Pony, and I made a little gurgling sound of delight (because I love horses).

And my wonderful professor goes: "Yes, Haleigh, what about Bill?"

And I reply, after a moment, without lifting my head from my (apparently very important) doodle: "...I love ponies!!!"

It wasn't until two seconds later when the class erupted into laughter that I realized how very much like a like an excited, distracted seven-year old I'd sounded.

I still get chortled at from my old classmates.

^__^ I have to admit, I have something quite similar to this (and I also love ponies xD!!! You should look at my photos ;) )

One day at school, me and my friends were sitting in the hallway during our spare having a conversation about my history class and WWII. I often have two dialogues going on inside of my head, one relating to the actual conversation, and another to something entirely random. So I opened my mouth to make a relevant comment to the WWII conversation, and out came, with NO intention whatsoever, "But I LOVE glitter!"

[1n50mn14]

I can't remember where I saw this online, it might have been 4chan. But somebody was posting about what to do if somebody tried to rape you. And I quote,


'
if somebody tries to rape you, just punch them in the sarcophagus.'

[papayahed]

Today on the news the newscaster said "She grew up Puerto Rican" like it was something she grew out of.....

(but then again I may be overly harsh because i dislike my loval newscasters so very much.)

[Shalot]

A little exchange I saw on national TV 25 - 30 years ago when we were about to vote about whether we were to keep our nuclear power plants or not. A reporter was asking people about their views on the matter:

Reporter: Should we use nuclear power?
Old lady: No! it is too dangerous.
Reporter: What about oil?
Old lady: No! too dirty
Reporter: Coal?
No! too dirty.
and so on... and on... and on...

Finally the slightly frustrated reporter asked: OK, What do you think we should use then?

Old lady: What's wrong with electricity? :sick:

/Claes

Doh...:lol:

[Madame X]

I can't remember where I saw this online, it might have been 4chan. But somebody was posting about what to do if somebody tried to rape you. And I quote,
'if somebody tries to rape you, just punch them in the sarcophagus.'

Innovative! Why, the Greeks of yore must surely be rhapsodic in their esophaguses. :angel:

[qimissung]

Oooh dear.

I'm going to embarrass myself here, because I still haven't lived it down. The incident occurred two semesters ago in my Lord of the Rings course (yes, it was fantastic), and I was bit distracted (I was doodling, daydreaming) - the discussion had strayed off course, I think - and someone mentioned Bill the Pony, and I made a little gurgling sound of delight (because I love horses).

And my wonderful professor goes: "Yes, Haleigh, what about Bill?"

And I reply, after a moment, without lifting my head from my (apparently very important) doodle: "...I love ponies!!!"

It wasn't until two seconds later when the class erupted into laughter that I realized how very much like a like an excited, distracted seven-year old I'd sounded.

I still get chortled at from my old classmates.

These are all funny, but this is the one that makes laugh the loudest! :lol:

[qimissung]

O.K., once upon a time I actually asked a friend of mine if Sierra Leone was in South America. D'oh!