Holding My Secrets in My Hands

[2littletime]

I carry the burden of a decision
where I must choose
For in my hands I carry two secrets.
But no matter what I still will lose

In one hand I love you
In the other I hate you
I can’t decide which I want to go with

Sometimes I think about putting my hands behind my back
Then picking a palm at random
But what if I don’t like the answer?
Do I just jump to the other?
What if I don’t like that one either?
I decided I think I’ll go with neither…

I am to scared, not man enough to choose
I don’t wanna know how I really feel about you
Keep right on doing what I do
Pushing forward this decision of 2
I can’t love or hate you

Or maybe I do
Maybe I love you more than anything
After all you’re the reason for my writing
Correct?
And I know I could never manage to live without you
And together, we make a very special two
So I guess that means I love you

But really I don’t!
You stand for everything that I try so hard not to be
And you’ll never at all care about me
You’re a cheating, lying hypocrite
I just can’t handle it!
I hate you

So why can’t I just lift my feet and walk away
Not talk to you another day?
I know it would be easier that way
So what’s holding me?
what’s making me stay?
I do not want to live this way

So here I stay, broken hearted and angry
Without yes or no, simply stuck at maybe
Draining all my strength and energy
Holding my secrets in my hands.