slight exaggeration

[amuse]

wednesday through friday is
such a long
time i'm losing my mind
and it's been years
(hours?) since you called
i can't move
can't think
have lost my breath,
as i spiral
down passageways
to my-
crying and lost
on this cold bleak night
i know you're
busy;
you have dreams to build
tables to turn
rhymes to write...
but you're the
conduit for all
my light-
and i miss you
so god****ed bad tonight.


*ok, this is so embarassing!

[mono]

Do not think it embarrassing, amuse. I love the raw feeling this particular poem presents; the words read very straight-forward, getting your point across in the quickest, easiest way possible. Most of your poetry seems full of simile, mostly metaphor, but this one sounds so much more conversational and simple.
Well done! :)

[Helga]

I agree with mono, it is different from your other poems, but I do love it. It seemed like a question if you should have years or hours and I think both works very well, even days too...but I don't know. It is very sweet and easy to understand and I love that, not everyone can make that work but you can, and very well too.

[SwiftSleigh7]

wednesday through friday is
such a long
time i'm losing my mind
and it's been years
(hours?) since you called
i can't move
can't think
have lost my breath,
as i spiral
down passageways
to my-
crying and lost
on this cold bleak night
i know you're
busy;
you have dreams to build
tables to turn
rhymes to write...
but you're the
conduit for all
my light-
and i miss you
so god****ed bad tonight.


*ok, this is so embarassing!

much more than merely maudlin sentiment...
this much is abundantly evident...

easy to see why you're confused by my pathos though...

your evidently at a loss for more than words...

but you use them well to show it!

[amuse]

you've an odd, egocentric, way of complimenting.

[amuse]

oh and thank you both, mono and Helga. :)