mcilroga
02-11-2009, 10:08 PM
Alright, so a little background:
As an introductory assignment for Writer's Craft, we were supposed to write a "poem" -- any structure, size, form, etc. -- based on the question: What Have You Lived For? It could be fiction or non-fiction, so I chose to write a fictional piece that sort of explores the fantasy genre and is hopefully uplifting.
I, truthfully, don't write much; I can never find the time, but now I'm going to make more of an effort. While I'm not saying this to be "reviewed" easier, I do want to share that this really was not just my introduction to the course, but a personal one to poetry at all.
Please offer comments/criticism - it's all appreciated.
Hush.
I was once afraid.
And alone.
Unable to exhibit even the slightest hint of confidence in fear of being judged.
And then you arrived,
and swept me off my feet
and whisked me away
to the greatest place on Earth,
where crickets ran and smiled at me,
and growing trees that called my name
offered a gentle zephyr that felt my presence and let me know that I was there,
breathing,
living.
And in this place did I feel, at last, loved.
And I would stay there always,
and ask why, of all people, you chose for me to accompany you.
And you would respond, “because I love you with everything I am.”
And from these words, any spark of inferiority had ever I felt,
any weakness,
vanished,
and in replacement came your arms,
which held me close to your body, and let me know
that I would never be alone again.
Because I am just as wonderful as everyone else.
And in this place, I reached my resolutions,
my conclusions
of a new-found euphoria that I promised to feel for the rest of my life,
for it is essential.
And the beauty of you is that you’re no longer needed
to walk me across any bridge,
any obstacle,
of which I fear,
because I can make it on my own.
And thus, I will leave this place with the inner knowledge
that I can face the aesthetics of life,
and of love,
and of challenge.
I am free.
I have lived because of you,
and because of your eyes, which saw a perfection in me that I had not known existed.
I am perfect.
And you are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.
As an introductory assignment for Writer's Craft, we were supposed to write a "poem" -- any structure, size, form, etc. -- based on the question: What Have You Lived For? It could be fiction or non-fiction, so I chose to write a fictional piece that sort of explores the fantasy genre and is hopefully uplifting.
I, truthfully, don't write much; I can never find the time, but now I'm going to make more of an effort. While I'm not saying this to be "reviewed" easier, I do want to share that this really was not just my introduction to the course, but a personal one to poetry at all.
Please offer comments/criticism - it's all appreciated.
Hush.
I was once afraid.
And alone.
Unable to exhibit even the slightest hint of confidence in fear of being judged.
And then you arrived,
and swept me off my feet
and whisked me away
to the greatest place on Earth,
where crickets ran and smiled at me,
and growing trees that called my name
offered a gentle zephyr that felt my presence and let me know that I was there,
breathing,
living.
And in this place did I feel, at last, loved.
And I would stay there always,
and ask why, of all people, you chose for me to accompany you.
And you would respond, “because I love you with everything I am.”
And from these words, any spark of inferiority had ever I felt,
any weakness,
vanished,
and in replacement came your arms,
which held me close to your body, and let me know
that I would never be alone again.
Because I am just as wonderful as everyone else.
And in this place, I reached my resolutions,
my conclusions
of a new-found euphoria that I promised to feel for the rest of my life,
for it is essential.
And the beauty of you is that you’re no longer needed
to walk me across any bridge,
any obstacle,
of which I fear,
because I can make it on my own.
And thus, I will leave this place with the inner knowledge
that I can face the aesthetics of life,
and of love,
and of challenge.
I am free.
I have lived because of you,
and because of your eyes, which saw a perfection in me that I had not known existed.
I am perfect.
And you are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.