a valentines poem

[Jocafer]

would he rather
give his chocolate heart
than give
his heart-shaped chocolate?

would she rather
accept his teddybear hug
than hug
his teddybear?

behind the glitter
of jewelry glittering
see the shine
of the heart that's shining

play a Shakespeare
if Shakespeare's willing
doth hath not overbear thou lines, though
it would be rather confusing

and, if your lips are mute
let your hands
utter your words...
"i love you!"

im not saying that valentines should be so simple, or on the other hand be filled with gifts and presents. what i mean to say is that, what is important is we try our very best to let people know that we love them. and lets see behind the presents, or see behind the simplicity.

i feel like the poem's missing something though, any comments? :D hehe they will be warmly appreciated.

[hoope]

I agree that it should be simple.. but i guess.. sometimes the person u love most might be the one who can turn ur whole life in to hell..

Nyc love poem.. i liked it .. but life ain't so simple as it is

[Jocafer]

yup, i agree. ive felt the same thing. it was so good yet at the same time i feel so much anguish inside of me :(
Good example of a story: "Araby" by James Joyce
^Actually that story inspired me to write this poem

hehe, glad you liked it! haha :D

[qimissung]

It seems fine to me the way it is. It's quite cleverly written, and I really like stanzas 3 through 5.