prose poem- the riverby shack there

[Silas Thorne]

The piercing rays of la lune illuminate a riverby shack there. Inside, you eat the dreams you cooked today: bowl-mashed snakes and madness, or a grin-toothed visage of a happy fool, a clown with a silver lining. A full stomach, perhaps you smile,or, screaming out like a volcano on the dark side of Panic mountain, shred and tear your skin off, then cover the shack so the rains don't get in and pollute your food.
Maybe later, seeking to dip your feet in the river's flow, the water clings .You try to shake it off, beating your leg against the side of the shack, but there's nowhere to go but here.

[Pendragon]

would be much better with line breaks...

[qimissung]

I think a prose poem is supposed to read like poetry but look like prose. I like it, Silas Thorne, you have created some strong, beautiful, disconcerting images.

[Silas Thorne]

Thanks qimissung.:) Pendragon, I tried it with line breaks and it didn't work. I guess it wasn't meant to have them.

[firefangled]

What makes this so strong is the absence of line breaks. The reader gets lost in its spell, which adds to the uneasiness of it.