where life is night

[ASHERA]

where life is night
wild with need -
and this world
a thing of want,
time is a steel skin
rusting swiftly

[Dark Muse]

This says so much in such few words, I loved the imagery and the mood it created

[quasimodo1]

ASHERA: An elegant little poem.

[ASHERA]

thank you for the kind words. i wish i could be more elegant.... tried to have the exact amount of syllables in each line, but that meant adding an adjective or two, which made it heavy and cumbersome..... i love brevity, succinct and simple.... seems to feel oh so much more masterful sometimes than lines and lines and lines tumbling along with ones thoughts

here's another i have been working on...i'm not getting what i want from it though:

i recall love
as difficult music
i played contrapuntally
a sad symphony
sans harmony

i want to leave in musical terms, but they weight it....
or this way

I recall love
as difficult music
i composed inside glass
a sad symphony
strung across a soul
of shards


i'm not feeling happy with either, but the second doesn't seem as contrived.... i guess neither one is meant to really fly freely in the poetic air

[lukelord]

i loved the mood and image that your poem gives out, i read it and i feel as if its everything about the world in one