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Pendragon
01-19-2009, 06:02 PM
On a Poem’s Review

I was asked to review a dear friend’s poem,
His emotions written in dedicated rhyme—
I went over it thoughtfully while relaxing at home,
Watching carefully for phrasing and time.
I found that the wording was not to my particular taste,
Rather stilted in places where the lines should flow.
The subject was jumping all over, at a too-rapid pace,
So I informed him since he really wanted to know.
He did not take kindly to my precision dissection,
Thinking me harsh when I only wished to help improve
The voice of the poem and its strive for perfection—
And nothing I could say had the power to soothe.
He smiled, but his voice was a sibilant hiss:
He extended one digit and said: “Review this!”

Pendragon
© 1/19/2009

A Sonnet From the Dragon

NickAdams
01-19-2009, 06:33 PM
Delightful.:lol:

Virgil
01-19-2009, 06:37 PM
:lol: :lol: I bet many people react the same to my constructive criticism.

PrinceMyshkin
01-20-2009, 07:48 AM
Yes, it's a delicate, precarious matter because in so many of our poems there's a subtext Love me! Find me marvellous! Be dumbstruck by my brilliance!

Wonderfully witty conclusion to this, Pen!

Riesa
01-20-2009, 12:55 PM
classic, Pen. :D

Pendragon
01-20-2009, 02:08 PM
Thank you. Thank you very much! :)

kelby_lake
01-21-2009, 01:17 PM
Good! I like it :)

qimissung
01-23-2009, 07:14 PM
Yes, it's a delicate, precarious matter because in so many of our poems there's a subtext Love me! Find me marvellous! Be dumbstruck by my brilliance!

Wonderfully witty conclusion to this, Pen!

So true. In other words, guilty as charged!!! :lol:

Good poem, Pendragon.

firefangled
01-24-2009, 03:09 PM
Hey, Pen, review this :thumbs_up.

Loved it.

Pensive
01-24-2009, 03:29 PM
:D

I can surely relate to that!