vicentsiu
01-19-2009, 01:42 PM
I wrote this last spring,i hope you'll like it.
I was born on June the 4 th 2007 on a hospital bed in Bucharest, not in a maternity as you'd imagine, but in the intensive care unit. In a way I am proud of this, I enjoy my uniqueness. They say I am Marius Oprea, a 37 years old lawyer. At least until I was born. I remember when I first felt I was alive , I looked around, analyzing the universe that had just received me. I heard a woman with golden hair, green eyes and a slightly oval face saying full of emotion "he woke up!".
"Can you hear me, Marius?" she said. I opened my eyes wider, I stared at her and slowly patted her left shoulder , thanking her for the warm welcome she had given me. I watched her sadly and then I told her with a calm and secure voice: "I am not Marius"
She seemed slightly confused, looked into my eyes and sketched a short smile while I touched her shoulder:
"Come on, cut the crap!" she said laughing. "I was worried about you..."
I watched her coldly thinking this was the best I could do but she kept gazing at me,absorbing my every move. Then her laughter gradually turned into a vague sound, undefined, the vague sound into silence and then she started crying. She saddened me. There was something excruciatingly painful in her cry, in the way that she sometimes raised her eyes, hoping i would tell her this was only a joke, only a game, but I knew, I knew Marius had died that day on the hospital bed, that day, when I saw my first sunshine.
That same day, in the evening, a nurse, who looked like she knew Marius wanted to ask me some questions.
"Mr Oprea, are you better?"
She irritated me. Hear that, Mr. Oprea!
I broke out, completely pissed off "Mr. Oprea died!"
"Oh God ..." she said worried.
"God?", I thought she had nicknamed me again. "I am no God ..."
Quickly, with her head bend she left the ward. Two minutes later she returned as silently as she had left and gave me a book with a black cross on the cover. I was surprised, didn?t know what she wanted from me. I thanked her and said I wanted to rest.
The next day the blonde woman came again, bringing a miniaturized , half a meter version of her. The blond woman pointed at the little one and said she was my daughter. I told her I had never seen her in my life. They were watching me with some sort of distrust, as if they were waiting for me to tell them this was only a bad joke and that I am, in fact Marius and am feeling well, but they were just succeding in making me nervous.
"What do you want?" I asked the blonde woman. We looked at each other for a minute. The woman began to cry again but this time, over my feet, she reached out for her daughter and embraced her.One hour later, they left. My reward came a little later: the woman said that she won?t be able to come and visit me the next day. I felt relived.
"All right" I said. I wanted to get out of bed and walk her to the door but she waved at me and said there was no need. I didn't mind, I was already feeling dizzy.
I've read almost half of this book. Two days have passed since the blonde woman left. She said she will come today at 14 pm. Right now I had the idea to write this diary. According to this book it seems there is only one god. One God that created this world, including humans. And everything happened in only 7 days. I would say this is quite funny and the story seems somehow improbable. He drew my attention on a so-called Moses. What did he do for God to make him his chosen one? Why didn't God choose the Pharaoh? Why Moses? Jews would have been released immediately if God had faced the Pharaoh directly. There must be something about Moses that I missed. I wonder if I'm a Jew. Starting from today I'll have a daily entry in my journal. Today was June 6. I'm kind of sleepy. I'll continue writing tomorrow.
7 June 2007
The blonde woman visited me again. It seems she came yesterday as well but didn't have the power to wake me up. I don't want her to come anymore. At least she hasn't brought the little one this time. She asked me if I wanted something. I said no. She said she won't give up on me and she'll still try to help me remember who I am. I asked her if Marius was a Jew. For several seconds she seemed paralyzed. In the end she said no and that I was kind of an atheist. After that we stopped talking and she just looked at me. I almost started to pray to this god for her to leave. She finally left me at 5 pm.
June 8
"It's a special case, probably unique." I heard this morning some doctors discussing it. They thought I was asleep but I was only lying in bed with my eyes closed. I was analyzing my situation. After all, what am I going to do after I leave the hospital? I can't stay with Marius's wife. Certainly not. I'm not going to steal his life only because he is not here. And in addition the blonde woman seems completely unlikable. Let's not start talking about the little one. Coming back to the doctors discussing about my birth. I heard there was a tumor growing on my frontal lobe , a node of the brain responsible for "the situation created" as they called me. That is what I've heard. They said there shouldn't be any problems and the surgery would solve everything. Basically they want to kill me after only four days of life. I'm going to refuse the surgery, they can't force me.
June 9
God has a son. "On the other side" Herod seems the perfect embodiment of man. Threatened, he tries with any price to maintain his rank even if this could mean infanticide. I think in certain situations I identify with him. But again something is missing or I don't understand. What would the son of God be doing on earth? And why hasn't he taken his proper place, ruling the world? And what fault have those who've been born outside paradise? Why would they come here in the first place and why would they need salvation ? Okay, when I'll see the nurse next time I'll give her back the book . I think I am an atheist like Marius.
June 10
That woman came again (I don't even know her name yet)and she apologized she couldn't make it the previous day. She said something about a law process and some other details but I didn't give a crap about it, I wasn't interested in that women's life. She said there was still a chance for me. For me, can you believe it? And tomorrow I'll have the surgery and the rate of success is very high. I'm scared. They want to kill me. I'll run away tonight. The nurse told me that I can't refuse the surgery because, they say, I'm not capable of discrimination. She didn?t wanted the book back. She told me to keep it. And who knows , I might finish reading it in the end.
I explored the hospital today (I was allowed to walk). I?m going to run away tonight at 2 am.
June 11
There is no longer a reason for me to escape. Before enforcing my plan I heard that just two hours ago my neurosurgeon had been involved in a car accident and there was no longer talk about surgery. I'll keep on reading the book. Maybe there is a God.
June 12
The woman came back. "Sorry ..." she said. Then she began to cry. She pissed me off, as always.
"Your name?" I asked her with a wide smile on my face. I knew that I was destroying this woman, slowly killing the image of her husband, burrying him alive as I looked at her helpless face.
While she was crying I heard clearly "Daniela." I took her head in my hands and made her look into my eyes.
"Daniela, please stop coming here. Your husband has been dead for days "I told her coldly . I saw how, with every word the redness in her cheeks was fading and she was turning white as a sheet. The woman seemed paralyzed at my feet.
"Sorry" I told her, filled with remorse and then I went back to bed and finally fell asleep.
June 13
His name is Jesus. This is the son of god. I think it's to simple for a god. Besides the small miracles - healing the sick or turning water into wine, finally worthy of a god was resurrecting Lazarus . This thought shaked me and made me reflect, for the first time about life and death. I'm always tired and my head hurts. I'll go to sleep earlier tonight. Goodnight!
June 14
Last night I met Marius on dream land. He was unhappy about the way I treated his wife and daughter. We had a beer on a terrace in the middle of the desert. It was hot and he was exhausted. I told him he was drinking too much but he didn?t notice me. He told me all about his life. I learned that his daughter's name was Alina.
I woke up suffocated, bathing in my own sweat. The machine next to me was making an infernal noise. Some doctors and nurses came to me and gave me some shots and more fluid.
June 15
I'm feeling worse every day.I can't write.
June 16
Daniela and Alina stayed with me all day long, while I was sitting relaxed in bed.We said nothing to each other. I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm no longer writing , I just want to finish reading the book.
June 17
Even for robbers there is a place in paradise. That is what I've learned. And Lazarus called me a robber, last night in my dream. Lazarus is Marius, I named him so because, each day he is more alive in my mind. We stayed up talking until morning, before I got up.
June 18
I found out they want me to have surgery again. There's a foreign neurosurgeon interested in my case. Marius asked me to give him his life back. I agreed. I want to die, the pain is unbearable. Anyways, the Apocalypse will reach everyone.
To Marius:
Please read this short diary and burry me in a Christian way. Although I was not born like you I want this god that you reject .
Now I realized that being busy with "no, not, I'm not Marius" I forgot I have no name.
I was born on June the 4 th 2007 on a hospital bed in Bucharest, not in a maternity as you'd imagine, but in the intensive care unit. In a way I am proud of this, I enjoy my uniqueness. They say I am Marius Oprea, a 37 years old lawyer. At least until I was born. I remember when I first felt I was alive , I looked around, analyzing the universe that had just received me. I heard a woman with golden hair, green eyes and a slightly oval face saying full of emotion "he woke up!".
"Can you hear me, Marius?" she said. I opened my eyes wider, I stared at her and slowly patted her left shoulder , thanking her for the warm welcome she had given me. I watched her sadly and then I told her with a calm and secure voice: "I am not Marius"
She seemed slightly confused, looked into my eyes and sketched a short smile while I touched her shoulder:
"Come on, cut the crap!" she said laughing. "I was worried about you..."
I watched her coldly thinking this was the best I could do but she kept gazing at me,absorbing my every move. Then her laughter gradually turned into a vague sound, undefined, the vague sound into silence and then she started crying. She saddened me. There was something excruciatingly painful in her cry, in the way that she sometimes raised her eyes, hoping i would tell her this was only a joke, only a game, but I knew, I knew Marius had died that day on the hospital bed, that day, when I saw my first sunshine.
That same day, in the evening, a nurse, who looked like she knew Marius wanted to ask me some questions.
"Mr Oprea, are you better?"
She irritated me. Hear that, Mr. Oprea!
I broke out, completely pissed off "Mr. Oprea died!"
"Oh God ..." she said worried.
"God?", I thought she had nicknamed me again. "I am no God ..."
Quickly, with her head bend she left the ward. Two minutes later she returned as silently as she had left and gave me a book with a black cross on the cover. I was surprised, didn?t know what she wanted from me. I thanked her and said I wanted to rest.
The next day the blonde woman came again, bringing a miniaturized , half a meter version of her. The blond woman pointed at the little one and said she was my daughter. I told her I had never seen her in my life. They were watching me with some sort of distrust, as if they were waiting for me to tell them this was only a bad joke and that I am, in fact Marius and am feeling well, but they were just succeding in making me nervous.
"What do you want?" I asked the blonde woman. We looked at each other for a minute. The woman began to cry again but this time, over my feet, she reached out for her daughter and embraced her.One hour later, they left. My reward came a little later: the woman said that she won?t be able to come and visit me the next day. I felt relived.
"All right" I said. I wanted to get out of bed and walk her to the door but she waved at me and said there was no need. I didn't mind, I was already feeling dizzy.
I've read almost half of this book. Two days have passed since the blonde woman left. She said she will come today at 14 pm. Right now I had the idea to write this diary. According to this book it seems there is only one god. One God that created this world, including humans. And everything happened in only 7 days. I would say this is quite funny and the story seems somehow improbable. He drew my attention on a so-called Moses. What did he do for God to make him his chosen one? Why didn't God choose the Pharaoh? Why Moses? Jews would have been released immediately if God had faced the Pharaoh directly. There must be something about Moses that I missed. I wonder if I'm a Jew. Starting from today I'll have a daily entry in my journal. Today was June 6. I'm kind of sleepy. I'll continue writing tomorrow.
7 June 2007
The blonde woman visited me again. It seems she came yesterday as well but didn't have the power to wake me up. I don't want her to come anymore. At least she hasn't brought the little one this time. She asked me if I wanted something. I said no. She said she won't give up on me and she'll still try to help me remember who I am. I asked her if Marius was a Jew. For several seconds she seemed paralyzed. In the end she said no and that I was kind of an atheist. After that we stopped talking and she just looked at me. I almost started to pray to this god for her to leave. She finally left me at 5 pm.
June 8
"It's a special case, probably unique." I heard this morning some doctors discussing it. They thought I was asleep but I was only lying in bed with my eyes closed. I was analyzing my situation. After all, what am I going to do after I leave the hospital? I can't stay with Marius's wife. Certainly not. I'm not going to steal his life only because he is not here. And in addition the blonde woman seems completely unlikable. Let's not start talking about the little one. Coming back to the doctors discussing about my birth. I heard there was a tumor growing on my frontal lobe , a node of the brain responsible for "the situation created" as they called me. That is what I've heard. They said there shouldn't be any problems and the surgery would solve everything. Basically they want to kill me after only four days of life. I'm going to refuse the surgery, they can't force me.
June 9
God has a son. "On the other side" Herod seems the perfect embodiment of man. Threatened, he tries with any price to maintain his rank even if this could mean infanticide. I think in certain situations I identify with him. But again something is missing or I don't understand. What would the son of God be doing on earth? And why hasn't he taken his proper place, ruling the world? And what fault have those who've been born outside paradise? Why would they come here in the first place and why would they need salvation ? Okay, when I'll see the nurse next time I'll give her back the book . I think I am an atheist like Marius.
June 10
That woman came again (I don't even know her name yet)and she apologized she couldn't make it the previous day. She said something about a law process and some other details but I didn't give a crap about it, I wasn't interested in that women's life. She said there was still a chance for me. For me, can you believe it? And tomorrow I'll have the surgery and the rate of success is very high. I'm scared. They want to kill me. I'll run away tonight. The nurse told me that I can't refuse the surgery because, they say, I'm not capable of discrimination. She didn?t wanted the book back. She told me to keep it. And who knows , I might finish reading it in the end.
I explored the hospital today (I was allowed to walk). I?m going to run away tonight at 2 am.
June 11
There is no longer a reason for me to escape. Before enforcing my plan I heard that just two hours ago my neurosurgeon had been involved in a car accident and there was no longer talk about surgery. I'll keep on reading the book. Maybe there is a God.
June 12
The woman came back. "Sorry ..." she said. Then she began to cry. She pissed me off, as always.
"Your name?" I asked her with a wide smile on my face. I knew that I was destroying this woman, slowly killing the image of her husband, burrying him alive as I looked at her helpless face.
While she was crying I heard clearly "Daniela." I took her head in my hands and made her look into my eyes.
"Daniela, please stop coming here. Your husband has been dead for days "I told her coldly . I saw how, with every word the redness in her cheeks was fading and she was turning white as a sheet. The woman seemed paralyzed at my feet.
"Sorry" I told her, filled with remorse and then I went back to bed and finally fell asleep.
June 13
His name is Jesus. This is the son of god. I think it's to simple for a god. Besides the small miracles - healing the sick or turning water into wine, finally worthy of a god was resurrecting Lazarus . This thought shaked me and made me reflect, for the first time about life and death. I'm always tired and my head hurts. I'll go to sleep earlier tonight. Goodnight!
June 14
Last night I met Marius on dream land. He was unhappy about the way I treated his wife and daughter. We had a beer on a terrace in the middle of the desert. It was hot and he was exhausted. I told him he was drinking too much but he didn?t notice me. He told me all about his life. I learned that his daughter's name was Alina.
I woke up suffocated, bathing in my own sweat. The machine next to me was making an infernal noise. Some doctors and nurses came to me and gave me some shots and more fluid.
June 15
I'm feeling worse every day.I can't write.
June 16
Daniela and Alina stayed with me all day long, while I was sitting relaxed in bed.We said nothing to each other. I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm no longer writing , I just want to finish reading the book.
June 17
Even for robbers there is a place in paradise. That is what I've learned. And Lazarus called me a robber, last night in my dream. Lazarus is Marius, I named him so because, each day he is more alive in my mind. We stayed up talking until morning, before I got up.
June 18
I found out they want me to have surgery again. There's a foreign neurosurgeon interested in my case. Marius asked me to give him his life back. I agreed. I want to die, the pain is unbearable. Anyways, the Apocalypse will reach everyone.
To Marius:
Please read this short diary and burry me in a Christian way. Although I was not born like you I want this god that you reject .
Now I realized that being busy with "no, not, I'm not Marius" I forgot I have no name.