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View Full Version : I want to see as a poet



Jocafer
01-17-2009, 09:18 AM
Hey guys. Actually this "poem" I wrote below is not really a poem. I dont think im as good as the others here. Its kinda just a forum post but since it may be deleted here if its not a poem, i am forced to make it into one. I want to learn, simply put.

----o

I want
to see as a poet
is different
I want to see what
poets can

Inside a vase
is a heart?
I only see the house
not the painting
Why not rhyme?

I do not see
the message
All I see are words
let me understand
more than the phrase
like, do they run like
this?

Teach me
a poem's life;
a tree;
the
le
av
es;
its
stem
Why longer than four lines?

Im only an imitation
Deep inside
I have nothing
Teach me.

cogs
01-19-2009, 03:01 AM
here's an example:
you said, 'i want to see what poets can'. you actually just wrote a poem, because poets don't actually see with their eyes. so the whole metaphor is 'seeing' figuratively something, which may be the same as 'noticing' something with your real eyes. now, take this sentence:
i want to learn more about the world around me.
learning is like picking up a skill.
the world is like what you may see, feel, or hear, around you.
so you would add figuratively a skill, as well as seeing feeling or hearing something.
so here's the way i would write it:
'i'm blind to your smile.
i'm deaf to your laugh.
i'm numb to your warmth.
but screaming vibrations of love touch my beating heart'

then i might go on to say how i learn, or am taught, to love by him/her.