Post Scriptum

[ASHERA]

this too thin life
so distant from me
can it turn around
brighten again?
can it twist
like a flame
and burst forth?
this night song
in darkness clenched
knows the weight of waiting
it sings from scars
pain tightly strung
and three thousand nights
spent all alone

[Dark Muse]

This is beautiful, very fluid with wonderful imagery

[ASHERA]

Thank you, that was kind of to you respond. I was feeling very lonely here and I guess it is silly to be so frightened and insecure, but I do feel uncomfortable and it probably was mistake to come here. It seems there is a veritable glut of far better and more talented poets. I shall enjoy reading all the wonderful poetry here though. That was a beautiful painting, did you do that? It is quite powerful. Thank you for sharing it and yourself with me.

[Silas Thorne]

There are always talented people around all of us, in some areas. In others, we are the experts. Keep writing and don't give up. And join in the poetry games too. :)

I love the second half. Pain and music intertwined.

Bye now
Silas

[ASHERA]

i was foolish to think even now
in this mad gyre spinning
toward abandonment and loss
that there would be that place
where a feeling could grow
and be kept pure, sheltered
from the locusts and the cold damp dark
do you think it is easy here
shut away from the heat of the world
with the winter rains darkening my door
things start crumbling in the dank dark
the mold infused floorboards fall
the walls disappear like smoke
our seasons fly from us through years unlived
but there you stand on your pedestal
you with no shadows now
all stiff with rhetoric and judgement
unable to invite another soul into yours
the breath from your cold heart
like a ghost...vanishing
saying nothing

[ASHERA]

LOL , I shy away from games, contests, competitions....I'm just not quick enough, astute enough but thank you for the kind words Silas.

[jon1jt]

Enjoyed both poems---nice writing all in all. This my fav line:

this night song
in darkness clenched
knows the weight of waiting

[Silas Thorne]

Hi.
I'm just a beginner to poetry really, but I think many of the poetry games are not really games but practise. :)
There are lots of threads to put your poetry on and get seen though, so don't worry if you don't get commented on immediately if your writing is just here. Move your poems about so you get more comments.

Try not to get lost in miserable realms of pain though. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thank you, that was kind of to you respond. I was feeling very lonely here and I guess it is silly to be so frightened and insecure, but I do feel uncomfortable and it probably was mistake to come here. It seems there is a veritable glut of far better and more talented poets. I shall enjoy reading all the wonderful poetry here though. That was a beautiful painting, did you do that? It is quite powerful. Thank you for sharing it and yourself with me.

Oh, please don't compare yourself with anybody but your own best self! I admired your poem for the spareness and economy of it! Some of us at times offer too much which can be as bad as too little. Saying what you needed to say, as clearly as you did, and not insisting on it, is very good technique.

[PrinceMyshkin]

i was foolish to think even now
in this mad gyre spinning
toward abandonment and loss
that there would be that place
where a feeling could grow
and be kept pure, sheltered
from the locusts and the cold damp dark
do you think it is easy here
shut away from the heat of the world
with the winter rains darkening my door
things start crumbling in the dank dark
the mold infused floorboards fall
the walls disappear like smoke
our seasons fly from us through years unlived
but there you stand on your pedestal
you with no shadows now
all stiff with rhetoric and judgement
unable to invite another soul into yours
the breath from your cold heart
like a ghost...vanishing
saying nothing

To judge by this as well as the first poem you posted, you will write and post more - and you ought to!