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shortstoryfan
01-11-2009, 10:38 PM
The bark of the birch
has raised up
like Braille upon pale
whiteness.
There is this illusion
that snow has somehow
attached to the branch.
Would it be
upon a tree
that produced more sap?
I do not know.
My knowledge of nature
is somewhat limited.
Unlike poets,
I do not know
the names of birds:
wren, heron, crane—
what is the difference?
I cannot recognize
the cries
of these birds.
I can only hope
that expressive text
is not dependent upon
a sparrow’s call.

Cat_Brenners
01-11-2009, 10:52 PM
Good but I wonder about the title matching the poem? You talked of nature but not enough of a poet's nature. Keep it up.
Hugs, Cat

cogs
01-12-2009, 06:14 PM
hi... i think you're talking about the paper first? the poem is good... you interject yourself, as well as pronouns, when we already know it's you writing, as well as the nouns' properties... i would pare it down to only images and elements, instead of pointing them out. very nice poem